This cashier has no idea that Im buying the book 25 000 Baby Names because my wife is a queen ant and were having 25 000 babies

That would be fun if Pujols name was actually Crapgorge.

RT @13spencer: “Dating is hard,” said the girl who Photoshops her Ok Cupid profile pics.

If I could change 1 thing about myself I would lower my gum chewing noise.