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Silly Sayings

Hottest funny love saying collections of all time. Real Easy to read list.


Check out some of the best Silly Sayingsand quotes.

  • As I said before, I never repeat myself.
  • It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
  • If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
  • I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.
  • Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.
  • Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
  • An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
  • Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. (Socks can eat any place they want.)
  • Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
  • Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night, day.
  • New York Times writer Amy Chozick giving an example of what it was like working for a fashion magazine: “A girl got on [the elevator] with a Birkin bag, and her friend goes, ‘Oh, my God, I love your bag; is that new?’ and she goes, ‘No, I got it, like, a week ago.’”
  • If you can't convince them, confuse them.
  • If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
  • A coward is a hero with a wife, kids and a mortgage.
  • He who pays the piper calls the tune.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  • When one door shuts, another opens.
  • Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
  • Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.
  • I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.
  • My favorite bumper stickers says: "All generalizations are false."
  • Why is the word 'Abbreviation' so long?
  • A day without sunshine is like ... night.
  • The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
  • That that is, is, that that is not, is not. [try understaning that without the commas set]
  • A penny saved is a congressional oversight.
  • Hate to break it to you, Facebook, but the entire Internet is already a Dislike button.
  • I'll have to think twice about it before I give it a second thought.
  • I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody …”
  • There is more to life than increasing its speed.
  • If a tree fell on the florist, would he make any sound?
  • Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?
  • A fool with a tool is still a fool.
  • Welcome to Hell...Here's your accordion.
  • You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
  • Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.
  • A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
  • Dyslexics of the world untie!
  • The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.
  • Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
  • I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by.
  • Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
  • True friends always stab you in the front.
  • The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
  • You're schizophrenic? Gee, that makes four of us.
  • Conscience: What hurts when everything else feels so good.
  • A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
  • The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it.
  • Why can't you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck.
  • Error. Keyboard not found. Press any key to continue...
  • If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.
  • Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.
  • You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
  • He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.
  • Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
  • If people say they just love the smell of books, I always want to pull them aside and ask, To be clear, do you know how reading works?
  • More: Funny Quotes, One-Liners, Travel Jokes
  • Happiness can't buy money.
  • I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried — but they wanted cash.
  • The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.
  • Floggings will continue until morale improves.
  • Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way.
  • Skydiving - Good to the last drop.
  • Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists.
  • We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.
  • Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense.
  • What if there were no hypothetical situations?
  • When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
  • Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me?
  • We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet.
  • How can you ever be late for anything in London? They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town.
  • When all else fails, read the directions.
  • All's well that ends.