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School Puns

Absolutely hillarious school one-liners! Large collection of best school one-line jokes


After reading this groan-worthy School Puns , I really feel like I could use a margherita.

  • I wondered why my geometry class was always tired. They were all out of shape.
  • I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me.
  • I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions.
  • Why do magicians do so well in school? They’re good at trick questions.
  • On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history.
  • Will confiscated a rubber band pistol from his algebra class pistol, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • Skipping school to bungee jump will get you suspended.
  • The sign language teacher was very good with her hands.
  • I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.
  • A general rule of grammar is that double negatives are a no-no.
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance? Because he had nobody to go with.
  • I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.
  • I need to do my philosophy homework but I just Kant.
  • Retired teachers are classless.
  • Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.
  • or he wouldn't get an up-grade.
  • The students on the top floor of the school were upper class.
  • The boy's guitar teacher helped him pick up his skills.
  • Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because he was going to high school.
  • Children who fail their coloring exams always need a shoulder to crayon.
  • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  • Decimals have a point.
  • All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • You seem like the kind of person who always tried to open the wrong side of the milk carton in grade school.
  • It wasn't school John disliked it was just the principal of it.
  • I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..
  • The teacher asked a question and the students were all up in arms.
  • My math teacher called me average. How mean!
  • Who’s the king of the classroom? The ruler.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian
  • The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  • Sometimes a pencil sharpener is needed in order to make a good point.
  • The student was an aggressive learner - he hit the books.
  • A student limped into class with a lame excuse.
  • A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
  • Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
  • I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
  • My student was late for class, claiming he was in the washroom. I think he was stalling.
  • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  • Why was school easier for cave people? Because there was no history to study.
  • A teacher used his index finger to ask a lot of pointed questions.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
  • The school had a door made of iron. That was why it was called the school of hard knocks.
  • Teachers' hands are usually chalk-full.
  • Little Jimmy told his teacher he never saw a humming bird but he had watched a spelling bee.
  • When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.
  • Eating too many snacks when studying for a test is called cramming.
  • College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back.
  • A library should have several floors because it is a multi story building.
  • I used to hate maths but then I realised decimals have a point.
  • Old teachers never die they just lose their class.
  • There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
  • Old school principals never die, they just lose their faculties.
  • Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
  • Two friends took ropes to school so that they could skip out.
  • You're like school in the summertime - no class.
  • His penmanship is certainly nothing to write home about.
  • Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
  • A student drove himself so hard that he missed the learning curve.