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Dog Puns

Absolutely hillarious school one-liners! Large collection of best dog one-line jokes


I need some dog puns

  • The original alpha-dog was called Canus Major!
  • Kids are lining up at the movies already to see the new release about the hot dog, its being considered an Oscar Wiener
  • In a major scientific breakthrough, a mirror and a genetic dog hybrid gave scientists serious pause for reflection
  • Whining and dining
  • Bark Side of the Moon
  • We are wondering if the reason that our dog will not drink tap water is because he is from the Scottish Perrier breed?
  • Bark-B-Q
  • Ruff (rough)
  • My grandmother always uses collie flour when she is gong to be baking dog biscuits
  • The reason that my dog failed his driving test was simply because he was unable to parallel bark
  • The bark side
  • My dog went missing around the same time that I spilled some spot remover on him
  • When I asked the hot dog vendor if my dog was welcome by his stand, he replied with a tone that was quite frank
  • I don’t mind if it rains cats and dogs, as long as we don’t get any reindeer
  • Even though my dog can hunt for mushrooms underground he has become more truffle then he is worth
  • When dog finish training at obedience school they go on to get their masters
  • Puparazzi
  • I am not fat, I am just a little husky.
  • Even though the valuable dog was missing, the police have announced that they have a lead
  • The dog attending the university because he was hoping that he would eventually get a pe-digree
  • The reason our bird dog is considered the best in the land is because he is good to a point
  • When your pet wants to go for a walk it can be very dog-matic
  • The reason that police dogs are so great at their jobs is because of the in-scent-ive
  • There was a sign hanging in the window of the local pet store that read “Buy One Dog, Get One Flea!”
  • In order to see the real potential in my dog, there is no begging involved, you simply have to unleash it
  • In a surprising news story, that dog who gave birth to puppies at the roadside was eventually ticketed for littering
  • Food for very bad dogs is often bought by the pound
  • When there is any experimenting taking place with on dogs they are done with laboratory retrievers
  • When you cross a bunny and a dog you are going to wind up with a rabid dog
  • The flea could fly and the fly can flee, so it makes perfect sense that the dog can bark and so could a tree
  • The little redhead was very upset that her dog swallowed her engagement ring because now she has a diamond in the ruff
  • Dogs and birds make great music together because they are both woofers and tweeters
  • Pup-corn
  • Woofles
  • When the setter and the pointer were bred, around Christmas time they got a point-setter
  • I love going to the veterinarian because she really knows how to make my dog heal
  • Inter-ruff-tion
  • That race dog that came down with a bad case of the fleas was eventually scratched
  • When you buy a tiny dog a very expensive mattress it is thought that they are simply sitting in the lap of luxury
  • It was funny watching the two dogs because they really had a bone of contention with each other
  • You should take a trip to the local hot dog factory because you never sausage anything like it before
  • In a strange twist of fate, the two seeing eye dogs wound up doing on a blind date with each other
  • Muttropolitan
  • The only way that I would agree to watch my neighbor’s dog was if he didn’t scratch me, it is in the clause
  • That dog is not allowed to attend the flea circus because he keeps on stealing the show
  • Last night on my way home from work it was raining cats and dogs and I notices there were poodles all over the highway
  • Bone Appetit!
  • Dogs wear their coat in the winter, but as summer approaches they wear their coat and pants
  • The reason you have to be very cautious around angry dogs is because they are considered to be cross-breeds
  • Did you know that the medical term for being in possession of too many dogs is called a Rover-dose?
  • Doggleganger
  • The reason that police dog receives so many accommodations is because he is at the scenter of many drug arrests
  • If you see my dog trying to read a book it is most likely by his favorite author Bark Twain
  • I can’t pull my dog away from the television whenever there is a Hairy Paw-ter marathon playing
  • Looking quite fetching
  • That frightened dog keeps running away from everything and is known as the Golden Retreater
  • Make no mistake about it that a pure-bred dog is bona-fid
  • The young lady was recently fired from working the hot dog stand because it was discovered that she put her hair in a bun
  • Rufferee
  • Mutt-ternity & Pup-ternity
  • Everyone says my dog is very agreeable
  • Since my dog is mustard in color, he is technically classified as a Golden Retriever
  • The coach always wants to put my dog in the baseball game because he always gets walked
  • Barking lot
  • Even though that dog is computer literate his bark is still much worse than his byte
  • Today has been Ruff.
  • Pupsicle
  • Subwoofers
  • Going mutts!
  • Raise the ruff!
  • Sheep dog puppies who like cantaloupe are considered to be a melon collie baby