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Dinosaur Puns

dinosaur, T rex, tyrannosaurus rex ... These Kinds of Puns Really Extink!


THERE can't be any worse dinosaur jokes than these.

  • What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? Answer: A thesaurus.
  • What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
  • Dimetro-damn!
  • Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
  • What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw !
  • Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
  • What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl !
  • How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
  • Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn't invented yet.
  • What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
  • Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
  • Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
  • Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because no one ever tells them anything!
  • You must be the La Brea tar pits, cuz I want to get my bone stuck in that.
  • Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook !
  • What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
  • Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
  • What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
  • What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
  • Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
  • How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex?
  • What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops !
  • What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
  • Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
  • How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
  • Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
  • Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops !
  • Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
  • What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus !
  • Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore !
  • What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
  • Why can?t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Because the P is silent!
  • Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
  • What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
  • What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
  • What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
  • What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
  • Are you an angel? Because I’m a dinosaur.
  • What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
  • What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
  • What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
  • Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer !
  • Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
  • What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
  • What is the scariest type of dinosaur? A Terror-dactyl.
  • Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
  • What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
  • What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
  • What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together? Dino-mite.
  • Why go for the b-rachiosaurus, when you could go for the D-rachiosaurus.
  • What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
  • We should carbon date because our half-life would approach eternity.
  • Q. How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you?
  • What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
  • Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
  • What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust !
  • Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes? A dino-sewer!
  • What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
  • How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur !
  • Jurrassic-ing me back to your place? Okay!
  • Why don’t we mosey-osaur over to my place?
  • Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath !
  • You can dig up my bone any day./It wouldn’t take much digging to get to my bone.
  • Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears?
  • What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
  • What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
  • Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
  • What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
  • What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus !
  • Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
  • Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
  • What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
  • Q. How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you?
  • I’d wish you’d stegosaurus the night.
  • What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
  • What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
  • Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
  • What do you call it when a dinosaur has a car accident? A tyrannosaurus wreck!
  • Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
  • What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
  • What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
  • I couldn’t help but notice that you’re not a b-rachiosaurus, but a DD-rachiosaurus.
  • What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
  • Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
  • What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
  • Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot?
  • What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
  • I’m hornier than a styracosaurus.
  • What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur !
  • What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
  • I know how to plesiosaur a lady/man.
  • What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
  • You should come home with me, because I’ll make you dino-sore.
  • Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
  • What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
  • What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
  • What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
  • What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
  • What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
  • What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
  • What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
  • What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs !
  • What is a dinosaurs least favorite raindeer? Comet.
  • What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
  • What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw !
  • I’m hung like an Apatosaurus.
  • What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops?
  • What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
  • Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
  • What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
  • What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam !
  • How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth !
  • When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
  • What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks !
  • How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
  • What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
  • What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
  • Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs !
  • What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
  • What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
  • Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
  • You’re the tricera-tops
  • Why does a brontosaurus have a long neck? Because it's feet smell.
  • What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee !
  • Why don’t you Triassic a little tenderness?
  • What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
  • What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
  • What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks !
  • Seriously, tyrannosaurs are often the butt of jokes because of their short arms. Thankfully, modern technology can provide extensions for a steering wheel.
  • What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
  • Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
  • What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
  • How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
  • What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
  • How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
  • What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
  • What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
  • What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
  • Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
  • What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks !
  • What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus !