<link rel="stylesheet" href="../../../css/skel.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="../../../css/style.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="../../../css/style-desktop.css" />

Dallas Cowboys Jokes  

Explore our board "Dallas Cowboy Jokes"


Find and save ideas about Dallas Cowboys jokes:

  • Why does Texas Stadium have Astroturf? To keep the fans from grazing during games.
  • A news reporter was sitting in Central Park on his lunch break. There were two teenage boys throwing the football around. A huge Rotweiler gets loose from it's owner and pounces on one of the boys. The other one, in a fit of panic, picks up the biggest stick he could find and smashes it aginst the dog's head, killing it. The reporter runs over to the boys. "Wow! That was great! I can see the headline now: Giants Fan Saves Life of Best Friend!" "I am not a Giants fan", the boy replied. "Well, who are you a fan of, then?" asked the reporter. "I am a fan of America's Team, the Dallas Cowboys!". The next day, the headline read "Redneck Punk Brutally Slays Beloved Family Pet".
  • How do the Dallas Cowboys count to 10? 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10
  • What do Cowboys fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you! 
  • How many people does it take to beat the Cowboys? Only 1 - Barry Switzer
  • Did you hear Tony Romo just threw his iPhone in frustration? It was intercepted and then returned for a touchdown. 
  • How many Cowboys fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Philadelphia's shadow! 
  • Why did Tony Romo cross the road? To get to the hospital on the other side! 
  • What's the difference between Cowboys fans and a litter of puppies? Eventually, the litter of puppies grows up and stops whining. 
  • Why was Barry Switzer carrying a gun? He was practicing the Run and Shoot.
  • What do you call it, when a Dallas Cowboy goes on vacation? Time off for good behavior.
  • None of the Cowboys have been able to go home. The last time they were out of town, someone painted goal lines across their driveways and they can't make it over them.
  • How do you stop an Dallas Cowboys fan from beating his wife? Dress her in a Philadelphia jersey. 
  • Where do you go in Dallas in case of a tornado? Jerry World – they never get a touchdown there!
  • What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar
  • How do you recognize a Dallas Cowboy player in a department store? He's the one trying to slam the revolving door. 
  • What's Jerry Jones biggest concern ? Does Bail Money count against the Salary Cap? 
  • What's the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game! 
  • What do the Dallas Cowboys & Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 60,000 people stand up & yell “Jesus Christ” !
  • What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road
  • What Does the Dallas Cowboys and the movie "Broke Back Mountain" have in common? They both have cowboys that suck! 
  • How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights.
  • Why was Jason Garrett upset when the Cowboys playbook was stolen? Because he hadn’t finished coloring it.
  • What do you call a beautiful girl in Dallas? A tourist.
  • What does a Dallas Cowboys fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up. 
  • Did you know the Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year. 12 arrests, 5 convictions.
  • Jerry Jones was really upset with Irvin for the hotel room incident. After all, Irvin did get caught with coke instead of Pepsi.
  • Did you hear about the fire at the Cowboys' library facilities? Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet.
  • What's the difference between Cowboys fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. 
  • What is a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader’s favorite color? Yeller. 
  • Why is Troy Aikman unable to answer a telephone? He can't find the receiver.
  • What do you call 47 people sitting around a T.V. watching the Super Bowl? The Dallas Cowboys
  • How do you keep a Dallas Cowboys player out of your yard? Put up goal posts
  • What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". 
  • How did the Dallas Cowboys fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him! 
  • What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! 
  • What do you call a drug ring in Dallas? The huddle.
  • Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore? It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
  • How do you get a Cowboy to stand up? Say "Will the defendant please rise."
  • Why can't Micheal Irvin get into a huddle on the football field? It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.
  • What does a Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 
  • How can you tell when the Dallas Cowboys are going to run the football? DeMarco Murray leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.
  • Why doesn’t Fort Worth have a professional football team? Because then Dallas would want one
  • Did you hear, the Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System"; Yes your Honor, No your Honor.
  • John Madden was in Dallas covering a football game one Sunday. He was walking along the Cowboys' sideline when he noticed Barry Switzer standing next to an unusual phone. Madden asked Switzer about the phone, to which Switzer replied, "That's a hotline to God, and for $50 you can use it." Madden dug out $50 from his pocket and used the phone. The following week Madden was covering a game in Philadelphi As he walked along the Eagles' sideline, he saw a similar phone next to Ray Rhodes. Madden asked if the phone was a hotline to God, and Rhodes replied, "Yes, and a call will cost you 50 cents." Madden then asked Rhodes why this phone cost so much less than the phone in Dallas. Rhodes replied, "It's a local call."
  • How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up. 
  • A man walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. He noted a dog intently watching an Eagles-Cowboys game. Whenever the Eagles scored, the dog would jump onto the bar and do an animated dance. This happened over and over as the Eagles scored again and again. At the end of the game, the dog let out a loud howl and ran out of the bar. The man thought this was pretty unusual and said to the bartender, "Gee, that's amazing. What happens when the Cowboys win?" The bartender replied, "I don't know- the dog's only four years old."
  • What do you call 49 people sitting around a TV watching the SuperBowl? The Dallas Cowboys
  • I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Irving, Texas in order to allow "Jerry's Kids" to walk to work.
  • Why are so many Dallas Cowboys players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin! 
  • Why doesn't Austin have a professional football team? Because then Dallas would want one. 
  • What do you say to a Cowboy in a suit? Will the defendant please rise.
  • How do you make Deion Sanders slower than a snail? Call a pass route through a metal detector and wait for him to remove him jewelry.
  • Hey, did you hear who the Cowboys hired as their new defensive coordinator? Johnny Cochran.
  • What’s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game
  • Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving? The police.
  • What's Jerry Jones biggest concern Does Bail Money count against the Salary Cap?