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Corny Puns

Browse through team puns to find funny puns and cool puns.


Check out our complete list of corny puns .

Are you looking for the best pun? Find the perfect funny pun for you.

  • Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
  • Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later
  • How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? He bought it on sail
  • What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate? One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy
  • It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally
  • What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers
  • Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent
  • How do pirates know that they are pirates? They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
  • What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned
  • A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200
  • The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large
  • What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet? I, I, R and the seven C’s
  • What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie
  • What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business
  • What does a vegan pirate do in jail? Starrrrrve!
  • What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say? RRRRRRA!
  • Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle
  • So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere
  • Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives
  • And why can’t you count on his to pick up the tab? Because he’s always a little short
  • Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it
  • Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating? Wookieleaks
  • How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
  •  What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus
  • What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved
  • How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? A buck-an-ear
  •  What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror
  •  Two fish are in a tank
  • How do you get down from a bantha? You don’t
  • What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes? 8 pirates
  • You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart
  •  Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired
  • Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate? Because he was standing on the deck
  • How do ye turn a pirate furious? Take away the ‘p’
  • What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
  •  How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes
  • Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C
  • How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet
  • What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck
  • The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa
  • What did the specter of Obi Wan Kenobi say to the bartender? “Give me a beer and a mop
  • How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg
  • Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs? Right where ye left him
  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
  • There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence
  • A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store
  • Why is Yoda such a good gardener? Because he has a green thumb
  • I used to think the brain was the most important organ
  • A blind man walks into a bar
  • Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
  • If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut