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Book Puns

Absolutely hillarious Book one-liners! Large collection of best Book one-line jokes


I need some Book puns

  • Dinosaurs didn’t read. Now they are extinct.
  • When a thief stole several volumes from the library he was quickly booked.
  • My friend gave me a book about puns for my birthday and I loved it. It was two meaningful.
  • Before becoming a philosopher, Kant worked quality control on a vineyard. His most famous book is 'The Critique of Pure Raisin.'
  • What do you do if your pet starts eating your book? Take the words right out of his mouth!
  • Friend: “How long does it take you to fall in love?” Me: “Usually only a couple of chapters.”
  • Of all my books, my favorite is the one I received last Christmas. There is no tome like the present.
  • The podiatry book used footnotes while the proctology book used endnotes.
  • The junior librarian was reincarnated as a bookmark because he always knew his place.
  • I had plans to begin reading a book about sinkholes but they fell through.
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
  • Have you read the book about hands? It's a real page turner.
  • I tried everything to get to sleep last night…. Well everything except closing the book and putting it on the nightstand. Let’s not get too crazy!
  • The student was an aggressive learner - he hit the books.
  • A second glance is all that's needed for a book re-view.
  • The librarian didn't know what to do with the bookabout Tesla's love of electricity, so he filed it under 'Current Affairs.'
  • When she made Mario Puzo's books required reading for her class, she made him an author they couldn't refuse.
  • I read a book about gravity, it was a heavy subject.
  • The high school music teacher was quite controversial. He told his students to read band books.
  • A little boy was so full of energy that even when he read a book it was a hyper text.
  • The author's lawyer defended her rights in the bookcase.
  • The author wasn't pleased to see a review of his bookon cappuccino's. It said it was all froth and no substance.
  • “Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
  • A book called 'Current Trends in Wiring your House' turned out to be a shocking failure.
  • I was just diagnosed with IBS- Impulsive Book-Reading Syndrome
  • On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history.
  • Libraries make shhhhh happen!
  • Have you read the book about teleportation? It's bound to get you somewhere.
  • I once read a book about singularity. It really sucked me in.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity… it’s impossible to put down!
  • The policemen said if I didn't pay my library fine he would have to book me.
  • Steve was such a great con man that he made millions by selling his book 'The Path to Logical Lying'.
  • I asked a librarian if she was free this afternoon, she said she was all booked up.
  • An unusual medical book is one which has no appendix.
  • A book fell on my head the other day… I can only blame my shelf!
  • “Be careful about reading healthy books. You may die of a misprint!”
  • A young man visited the librarian every day so he could get into her good books.
  • The preacher annotated his hymn book making it a guided missal.
  • I've never enjoyed paperback books: their blend of wooden characters and watered-down plots makes them pulpy.
  • An accountant for a restaurant has to be sure the books are not cooked.
  • He said “Books or me.’ I sometimes remember him when buying new books!
  • Once I tried illustrating currency books for a living. I never drew a dime.
  • A librarian caught stealing had the book thrown at her and was put in a three storey jail.
  • Book lovers never go to bed alone.
  • Bookkeepers are problems for libraries.
  • In order to show a profit, the floundering gourmet seafood restaurant was allowed to cook its books since there is no accounting for taste.
  • A book store and clothing store merged under the name text-aisles.
  • I'm reading a book about mazes, I got lost in it.
  • I've just read a book about a bean growing up in Southern USA. It's called The Adventures of Tom Soya.
  • Sorry! My weekend is so busy, it’s all booked.
  • I read this book about Mount Everest. It was quite the cliff hanger.
  • “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
  • I’m not addicted to reading! I can quit as soon as I finish one more chapter!
  • I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
  • During the rainy season I spread out large books for my guests to wipe their feet on. These are the tomes that dry men's soles.
  • I had a novel idea for a new book but got in a bind so I shelved it. It's time to start a new chapter now.
  • High school grammar books are parse for the course.
  • I wrote a book about birds. It flew off the shelf.
  • The book about Teflon contained no frictional characters.
  • A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
  • The book had a hint of foreshadowing.
  • The book of incantations was useless. The author had failed to run a spell check.
  • I'm reading a book about black holes by Stephen Hawking, it really draws you in.
  • Librarians are always going by the book.
  • “Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly.”
  • “Never judge a book by its movie.”