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Bike Puns

entries are tagged with bicycle puns.


Some of the wheelie terrible cycling puns.

  • Whoever sold me these handlebars needs to get a grip!
  • Everytime My Bike Hurts Me, I Punch It Right Back. It's A Vicious Cycle.
  • My Bike Always Looks At Me With A Sense Of Sexual Resentment. I Think It Wants To Ride On Top For A While.
  • I used to fancy this other bike, but then i saw her skidmarks
  • Why couldn't Cinderella win the bicycle race? She has a pumpkin for a coach!
  • My Mate Punched A Driver For Pulling Into The Bike Lane. He's A Bit Of A Cycle-Path.
  • My Cousin Loves E-Bikes Because She?s Really Indecisive. She Likes That It Takes Charge.
  • My Mate Is Really Good On A Unicycle But Very Socially Awkward. She Can't Handle-Bars.
  • I was suffering on the bike, so I punched my bicycle, but it hurt even more.
  • Did You Know Alfred Hitchcock Used To Be Into Downhill Mountain Biking? He Was The Master Of Suspens-Ion.
  • What do you call a dinosaur on a bike? A velo-ciraptor.
  • Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own? Because it's too tired!
  • My Race Time Today Was So Much Better Than Yesterday. I Was In A Whole Different Gear.
  • There Was A Massive Tropical Storm While I Was Out Riding My Bike. I Decide To Cyclone.
  • Why did the bike rider go to the therapist? For his cycle-ogical problems.
  • I Bought A New Wheel From The Local Bike Shop, But It Was Missing Something In The Middle. When I Complained, They Sent Me Straight Through To Their Spokes-Person.
  • The man smiled and told him the truth. "Bicycles!"
  • It?s Getting Harder To Use A Bike Pump With Every Year That Passes. All That Inflation.
  • My mate is great on a unicycle, but struggles in social situations. He doesn't like bars.
  • Whoever sold me these rubbish handlebars needs to get a grip!
  • Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle? Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.
  • What do you call a bicycle built by a chemist? Bike-carbonate of soda!
  • So expensive to pump up your tyres these days, bloody inflation!?
  • What's the hardest thing about winning the Tour De France? Telling your parents that your gay!
  • How did the barber win the bike race? He took a short cut.
  • What do you call a professional cyclist who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless
  • A Maniac Cut Someone In Half While I Was On My Bike Today. I Missed It, But My Chainsaw.
  • I Rode My Bike 10 Miles To Safely Dispose Of Some Paper, Cans And Bottles Earlier. I Was Tired On The Way Back. I Had To Recycle.
  • I like cyclists, who torque the talk.
  • I Bought Some Handlebars Recently But They?re A Little Bare. I Told The Guy I Bought Them From He Needs To Get A Grip.
  • Did you hear about the guy who punched a car for straying into a cycle lane? He was a bit of a cycle-path?
  • When My Bike Chain Rusted, The Rest Of My Bike Started Falling Apart Too. It Was A Chain Reaction.
  • Apparently There Was A Type Of Dinosaur Which Used To Ride A Bike. The Velo-Ciraptor.
  • I think you all need to get a grip.
  • The Dude Who Makes My Wheels Suffers From Narcolepsy. He Just Gets Wheelie, Wheelie Tyred.
  • My Bike Is Absolutely Disgusting These Days. You Should See The Skidmarks.
  • What do you call an artist who sculpts with bicycle parts? Cycleangelo
  • Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike? The pavement.
  • A Nostalgic Mate?s Bike Broke The Same Day He F*Cked Up A Mixtape He Was Making For His Girlfriend. Now He Needs A New Cassette.
  • Why are bank tellers not allowed to ride bicycles? They tend to lose their balance.
  • What do you get if you cross a bike and a flower? Bicycle petals!
  • What does a bicycle call its dad? Pop-cycle
  • A Man Woke Up One Morning With No Hair And Two Flat Tyres. It Was Case Of ?Air Today, Gone Tomorrow?.
  • I Run A Surgery Practice For Cyclists Who Want To Remove One Of Their Eyes. It?s Called ?Cycle-Ops?.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired
  • My Bike-Mad Cousin Dropped Out Of University After One Lecture. He Was Disappointed When He Realised It Wasn?t Pronounced Cycle-Ology.
  • Did you hear about the lunatic who won the Tour De France in one day? He took the psycho-path.
  • A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired..
  • A Female Boxer Let The Air Out Of Both My Wheels Recently. I Had Two Puncture.
  • What did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.
  • I Cycled Through A Meadow The Other Day And My Bike Looks Much Prettier Now. I've Got A Daisy Chain.