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Art Puns

Absolutely hillarious Art one-liners! Large collection of best Art one-line jokes


I need some Art puns

  • The display of still-life art was not at all moving!
  • I noticed the article about peripheral vision out of the corner of my eye.
  • Did you hear about the artist who paints in jail? He had a brush with the law.
  • What did Michelangelo say to the ceiling? I got you covered.
  • Why can’t you trust an artist? Because they are shady… and a little sketchy.. and they’ll try to frame you.
  • The guy who draws pictures of suspects is a con artist.
  • What do you call a mixed media artist without a girlfriend? Homeless.
  • An artist calls his sketch pad a home.
  • Why did the artist go to the bathroom? When ya gotta Van Gogh, ya gotta Van Gogh
  • Did you hear about the painters messy house? It was "a work-in-progress....."
  • The museum curator was brilliant at judging sculptures and paintings. He displayed art official intelligence.
  • How does Salvador Dali start his mornings? With a bowl of "Surreal"
  • The coin artist promised he'll change his profession to something noteworthy.
  • One evening King Arthur's men discovered Sir Lancelot's moonshine whiskey operation and shattered the still of the knight.
  • What do you call someone hanging on a wall? Art.
  • The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
  • To the artificial rainmakers every cloud has a silver iodide lining!
  • Why was the painting arrested? Because it was framed.
  • When artists dream in color it's a pigment of their imagination.
  • Artists know where to draw the line.
  • Did you hear about the guy who stole all those paintings? He tried to brush it off, but I think he was framed.
  • A tatoo artist has designs on his clients.
  • Some people go into martial arts just for kicks.
  • Who else is a famous barnyard painter? Pablo PIGcaso
  • Some athletes who were also artists got together and discussed race and color.
  • How do artists greet one another? Yellow!
  • Did you here about the attempt robbery at the museum? They had ran out of gas a few blocks away when the police caught them, and they said, "We didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh"
  • What did the artist say to the rival? I Challenge you a doodle!
  • I told the artist that his painting was terrible. I think he got the picture.
  • Artists are colorful people who draw on their emotions.
  • She became an art dealer because she wanted more Monet.
  • The cardiovascular system is a work of artery, but is also really vein.
  • What does a painter sing when he's in Dire Straits? "Monet for Nothing".
  • Why do artistic wives love football season? Because their husbands sit on the sofa long enough for them to be sketched.
  • Michelangelo's David is superior to postmodern sculpture - it's an artifact.
  • Where does a cow hang his paintings? In a mooooseum.
  • An artist with the military kept drawing enemy fire.
  • After the art attack in the museum the science hall is now history.
  • A cowboy who was also an artist could draw fast.
  • I got kicked out of cartoon art school. I guess you could say I was in suspended animation.
  • An archaeologist found a mummy lying in a sleeping position and reported that the artifact was emBedded.
  • When do King Arthur's men practice? Joust at knight.
  • It's a lengthy article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
  • Which painting is never happy? The Moaning Lisa
  • The leech applied for the art position because he was good at drawing blood.
  • What is the definition of disgusting? Seeing a painter bite his nails.
  • The trapeze artist had to buy his own safety equipment. Every Friday he drew his net wages.
  • She said she never sat for the artist. The fact she is now being portrayed as a painted lady is a frame-up.
  • Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
  • The artist's favorite swimming technique was the brushstroke.
  • Why did the painter butter his toast with his fingers? To feel its texture.
  • Artificial knees and elbows were developed during a joint project.
  • Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
  • Sir Cumference built King Arthur's round table, and Sir Ramic Tile did the flooring.
  • The artist was great. He could always draw a crowd.
  • She always paints night scenes. Other artists pale by comparison.
  • She wanted to be head of the artist's union so she started canvassing artfully.
  • Why can't Frank Gore get into his own driveway? Someone painted an endzone on it.
  • Before King Arthur appointed a knight to give acupuncture treatments at Camelot Sir Lancelot knew he was stuck with the job.
  • I've been trying to caption this piece of art but I just can't picture the meaning of it.
  • When those around King Arthur's table had insomnia, there were a lot of sleepless knights.
  • I was enamoured with the famous Paris art museum. It was Louvre at first site.
  • Old artists never die, they just put things in perspective.
  • A dying artist painted himself into a coroner.
  • Did you hear about the artist who died? Too many strokes.
  • When the artist tried to draw a cube he had a mental block.
  • Which barnyard animal is a famous painter? Vincent Van Goat
  • The artist was great. He could always draw a crowd.
  • A cannonball is a party for artillerymen.
  • The knights facing each other at King Arthur's table disagreed a lot, because they were diametrically opposed.
  • If actions speak louder than words then why can't you hear mime artists?
  • What's the main difference between an electrician and a painter? An electrician washes his hands AFTER he has gone potty, but a painter washes his hands BEFORE he goes potty.
  • What do you call a painting by a cat? A paw-trait.
  • 'I agree with you wholeheartedly,' said the artichoke grower.
  • A not-very-good art teacher was good only at drawing blank faces.
  • The topiary artist invested all his money in shears and hedge funds.
  • I'm drawn to art.
  • Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn't have an ear for music.
  • For every 45 I collected, I would write down the song and the artist so I could keep records.
  • Old artists never retire they withdraw!
  • An artist without a palette makes paintings without Taste.
  • I photograph my pimples. Is zit art?
  • What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya.
  • The smoker always listened to his favorite Rap artist on his smoke breaks. He was a Tupac a day man.
  • I told the artist that his painting was terrible. I think he got the picture.
  • If Van Gogh were alive today, what might the title of his autobiography be called?The STARRY of My Life
  • The portrait artist made extra money as a census taker. He was good at canvasing people.
  • The artist’s favorite swimming technique was the brushstroke.
  • King Arthur really knew how to deal with the sworded truth.
  • The origami artist won the court case because he was good with paperwork.
  • Artists have to get into a good Frame of mind.
  • Art theft is a haul of frames.
  • An FBI sketch artist is a bureau drawer.