<link rel="stylesheet" href="../../../css/skel.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="../../../css/style.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="../../../css/style-desktop.css" />

San Francisco 49ers Jokes  

Explore our board "San Francisco 49ers Jokes"


Find and save ideas about San Francisco 49ers jokes:

  • Did you hear that Levi's Stadium had to be resodded?
  • Why do San Francisco 49ers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • Why are San Francisco 49ers jokes getting dumb and dumber? Because 49ers fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What does a San Francisco 49ers fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
  • Why do NFL teams get excited about playing the 49ers? It's like having an extra bye week.
  • How do you keep an San Francisco 49ers out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • What do the 49ers and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • What is a San Francisco 49ers fan's favorite wine? "We can't beat Seattle cause it's too noisy!"
  • How do you keep a 49ers fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • Why was Jim Harbaugh upset when the Greg Roman changed the playbook? Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
  • What do the San Francisco 49ers and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • What does an San Francisco 49ers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation
  • Why doesn't Sacramento have a professional football team? Because then San Francisco would want one.
  • Why are San Francisco 49ers jokes getting dumber and dumber?? Because 49ers fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What do San Francisco and Los Angeles have in common? Neither city has a professional football team.
  • Why do the San Francisco 49ers want to change their name to the San Francisco Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What does an San Francisco 49ers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • How do you stop an San Francisco 49ers fan from beating his wife? Dress her in a Seahawks jersey.
  • What do the San Francisco 49ers and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • What does a San Francisco 49ers fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • What's the difference between San Francisco 49ers fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • Where do you go in San Francisco in case of a tornado? Candlestick Park - they never get a touchdown there!
  • I put a Colin Kaepernick bumper sticker on my car and now it won't start.
  • What do you call a San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • How many San Francisco 49ers does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.
  • What do the San Francisco 49ers and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • What do you call a football team that just lost another game? 40 Whiners.
  • If you have a car containing a 49ers wide receiver, a 49ers linebacker, and a 49ers defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • How do you casterate an San Francisco 49ers fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • How many San Francisco 49ers does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • Why are so many San Francisco 49ers players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • What's the difference between the San Francisco 49ers and the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • How do you recognize a 49er in a department store? He's the one trying to slam the revolving door.
  • What's the difference between the 49ers and cigarettes? Russell Wilson doesn't smoke cigarettes
  • Want to hear a 49ers joke? Colin Kaepernick!
  • What do the 49ers and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday.
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The San Francisco 49ers.
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a San Francisco 49ers fan? The bucket.
  • What do 49er fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you!
  • What is a San Francisco 49ers fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat Arizona."
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple San Francisco 49ers games.
  • How are the 49ers like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • What's the difference between an San Francisco 49ers fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • What do you call a football team that tells the time? The 8:49ers
  • What is the difference between an 49ers fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • How many San Francisco 49ers fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What do the San Francisco 49ers playoff run and the Civil War have in common? Both of them were ended by a man named Sherman.
  • What should you do if you find three San Francisco 49ers football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • How do you stop an San Francisco 49ers fan from beating his wife? Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!
  • How did the San Francisco 49ers fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What did the 49ers fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • Why doesn't Michael Crabtrees home have electricity?
  • How many San Francisco 49ers fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
  • What is the difference between a porcupine and Candlestick park? Candlestick park has 60 thousand pricks on the inside.
  • Why do ducks fly over Candlestick Park upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • What's the difference between the San Francisco 49ers & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • What is the difference between an 49ers fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • How do the 49ers spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!
  • Did you hear that San Francisco's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • Why is Quinton Patton like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • How many 49ers fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Seattle's shadow!
  • What's the difference between the San Francisco 49ers and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • How do you know the California State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into San Francisco. For the first offense, they give you two 49ers tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • He's already used to living in Richard Shermans shadow.
  • What's the difference between 49er fans and a litter of puppies? Eventually, the litter of puppies grows up and stops whining.
  • What's the difference between the San Francisco 49ers and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.