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Pittsburgh Steelers Jokes  

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  • How do you keep a Pittsburgh Steeler out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple Pittsburgh Steelers games.
  • What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • How do the Steelers spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • If you have a car containing a Steelers running back, a Steelers linebacker, and a Steelers defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • How many Pittsburgh Steelers does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • What's the difference between Pittsburgh Steelers fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • What's the difference between an Pittsburgh Steelers fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • How do the Pittsburgh Steelers spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights.
  • What do Steeler fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you!
  • Who are the best paid sports figures? Anyone on the Yankees, anyone on the Boston Red Sox, then all the women Ben Roethlisberger pays to stay quiet!
  • What should you do if you find three Pittsburgh Steelers football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • How do you know the Pennslyvania State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Pittsburgh. For the first offense, they give you two Steelers tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • What did the Steeler fan do when he was given a pink slip? He put it on!
  • Why should Ben Roethlisberger be grateful that Roger Goodell was willing to meet with him in private? Roger is one of the only people still willing to meet with Ben in a private room!
  • What is the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead Steeler fan in the middle of the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
  • Why doesn't Harrisburg have a professional football team? Because then Pittsburgh would want one.
  • Why do Pittsburgh Steelers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • Why do the Pittsburgh Steelers want to change their name to the Pittsburgh Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What's black and gold and black and blue? Any Steeler after playing the Ravens!
  • Want to hear a Steelers joke? Sammie Coates!
  • What does an Pittsburgh Steelers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation
  • If you have a car containing a Steelers wide receiver, a Steelers linebacker, and a Steelers defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • What do the Steelers and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday.
  • What is the difference between a Steelers fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • Did you hear the one about Two Steelers fans walking past a bar? Hey, it could happen.
  • What does a Pittsburgh Steelers fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
  • What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • What's the difference between the Pittsburgh Steelers & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • How did the Pittsburgh Steelers fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Pittsburgh Steelers.
  • Why shouldn't Bills WR Stevie Johnson tweet to god about dropping a game winning touchdown pass in the overtime game with Pittsburgh? God is a Steelers fan!
  • Did you hear that Roger Goodell and Ben Roethlisberger recently met for several hours in New York? Goodell is one of the few people still willing to be in a private room with Roethlisberger.
  • Why did the Steeler fan grow a mustache? So he could look like his mother.
  • How do you casterate an Pittsburgh Steelers fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • Did you hear that Pittsburgh's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • What's the difference between Steelers fans and a litter of puppies? Eventually, the litter of puppies grows up and stops whining.
  • What's the difference between the Pittsburgh Steelers and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • Why did Ines Sainz feel uncomfortable in the New York Jets locker room? Because all the players put on Ben Roethlisberger jerseys!
  • How do you keep a Steelers fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • How many Steeler fans does it take to change a light bulb? One, because they think if they simply hold onto the bulb the world will revolve around them.
  • Did you hear about the Steelers Super Bowl odds? They are Le'veon A Prayer
  • How are the Steelers like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • How do you stop an Pittsburgh Steelers fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Ravens Black and Purple!
  • What is a Pittsburgh Steelers fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat Baltimore."
  • Why are Pittsburgh Steelers jokes getting dumber and dumber? ? Because Steelers fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What are the best things about Pittsburgh? The airport and the interstate highway system, because they help you leave there.
  • What do the Steelers and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • Did you hear the one about how Steeler fans looks like a bumblebees with a bad shave? The men look even worse!
  • How many Steelers fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Baltimore's shadow!
  • What does a Pittsburgh Steelers fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • How did Lawrence Taylor meet an underage girl through a mutual acquaintance? Ben Roethlisberger!
  • What do you call a Steeler fan without a girlfriend? Homeless.
  • How does a Steeler fan deal with a "bad hair day? " Puts a shirt on!
  • Why do ducks fly over Heinz Field upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Pittsburgh Steelers fan? The bucket.
  • How many Pittsburgh Steelers does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.
  • Why are so many Pittsburgh Steelers players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • Why is Charlie Sheen in such a good mood? Because James Harrison now holds the record for most illegal hits!
  • How many Pittsburgh Steelers fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What's the difference between the Pittsburgh Steelers and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • Why is Sammie Coates like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • Where do you go in Pittsburgh in case of a tornado? Heinz Fieldp - they never get a touchdown there!