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New York Jets Jokes  

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  • How many Jets fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in New Englands shadow!
  • Why does President Obama want to send Jets QB Geno Smith to Syria? The CIA are convinced Geno is the only American who can overthrow Bashir Assad.
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple New York Jets games.
  • Did you hear that MetLife Stadium had to be resodded? Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!
  • What's the difference between an New York Jets fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • Why are so many New York Jets players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • Whats Green and White and doesn't play football? Geno Smith
  • How do you know the New York State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into New York City. For the first offense, they give you two New York Jets tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • What is the difference between a Jets fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • How do you recognize a Jets fan in a department store? He's the one trying to slam the revolving door.
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an New York Jets fan? The bucket.
  • How many New York Jets does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • Why is Matt Forte like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • What's the difference between the New York Jets and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • Want to hear a Jets joke? Mark Sanchez!
  • Q. How did the New York Jets fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What's the difference between the New York Jets & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The New York Jets.
  • How do you casterate an New York Jets fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • How do you keep a Jets fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New England Red White and Blue and he won't beat it for years!
  • What did the Jets fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • Why doesn't Syracuse have a professional football team? Because then New York would want one.
  • Why can't Ryan Fitzpatrick use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
  • What do you call a New York Jet in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • Q. How are the Jets like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • What is cromarties favorite clothe designer? AberCROmbie and fitch
  • What do the Jets and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • Why do New York Jets fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • Did you hear that New Yorks's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • What is Osama Bin Ladens favorite football team? The New York Jets!
  • How do you keep a Jets fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New England Red White and Blue and he won't beat it for 4 years!
  • What do the New York Jets and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday.
  • What do you call an New York Jet with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  • What does JETS stand for? Just End The Season.
  • How do you stop an New York Jets fan from beating his wife? Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!
  • Why are former massage therapists suing the New York Jets and Brett Favre? Because they claimed Brett Favre rubbed him the wrong way!
  • What's the difference between the New England Patriots and the New York Jets? The last Patriots Super Bowl team picture isn't in black and white.
  • Why do the New York Jets want to change their name to the New York Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • How do you stop an New York Jets fan from beating his wife? Dress her in New England Red White and Blue!
  • Why are the New York Jets like Hillary Clinton? Both only have Bills to push around.
  • What is the difference between a bucket of sh*t and an New York Jets fan? The bucket.
  • Did you hear about the joke that Geno Smith told his receivers? It went over their heads.
  • Q. Why do ducks fly over New Meadowlands Stadium upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • How do the Jets spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • What does an New York Jets fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • What's the difference between the Jets and cigarettes? Bill Belichick doesn't smoke cigarettes
  • What do the New York Jets and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • What should you do if you find three New York Jets football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • What is a New York Jets fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat New England."
  • What's the difference between the New York Jets and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • How many New York Jets fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What does an New York Jets fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation
  • What do the New York Jets and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • If you have a car containing a Jets wide receiver, a Jets linebacker, and a Jets defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • Where do you go in New York in case of a tornado? New Meadowlands Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
  • What does a New York Jets fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • What do the New York Jets and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • How many New York Jets does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.
  • Why are the New York Jets like Hillary Clinton? Both have Bills to push around.
  • How do you keep an New York Jets out of your yard? Put up goal posts.