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Kansas City Chiefs Jokes  

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  • Why do ducks fly over Arrowhead stadium upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • What will happen if Charlie Weis is relieved of his duties as offensive coordinator with the Kansas City Chiefs? He'll become the teams new mascot!
  • How do you keep a Chiefs fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • How are the Chiefs like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • If you have a car containing a Chiefs wide receiver, a Chiefs linebacker, and a Chiefs defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • What is the difference between a Chiefs fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • How do you keep an Kansas City Chiefs out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • Why doesn't Springfield have a professional football team? Because then Kansas City would want one.
  • How many Kansas City Chiefs fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple Kansas City Chiefs games.
  • What do the Chiefs and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • What's the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • What is a Kansas City Chiefs fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat the Broncos."
  • Why are so many Kansas City Chiefs players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • What does a Kansas City Chiefs fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • Why do the Kansas City Chiefs want to change their name to the Atlanta Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What do the Kansas City Chiefs and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • How do you keep a Chiefs fan from masterbating? You paint his dick Broncos Orange and Blue and he won't beat it for 4 years!
  • Why can't Alex Smith use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
  • What's the difference between Kansas City Chiefs fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • How do you casterate a Kansas City Chiefs fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • What do you call a Kansas City Chief with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  • How many Chiefs fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Denver's shadow!
  • What does an Kansas City Chiefs fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • What do the Kansas City Chiefs and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Kansas City Chiefs fan? The bucket.
  • What do you call an Kansas City Chief in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • How do you stop an Kansas City Chiefs fan from beating his wife? Dress her in San Diego Blue and Gold!
  • What did the Chiefs fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • What should you do if you find three Kansas City Chiefs football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • What has eight arms and an I.of 60? Four Chiefs fans watching a football game.
  • Did you hear that Kansas City's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • Where do you go in Kansas City in case of a tornado? Arrowhead Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
  • What do the Kansas City Chiefs and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • What's the difference between an Kansas City Chiefs fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • Why is Spencer Ware like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • What is a Kansas City Chiefs fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat San Diego."
  • How many Kansas City Chiefs does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • Want to hear a Chiefs joke? Travis Kelce!
  • What's the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • How do you casterate an Kansas City Chiefs fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Kansas City Chiefs.
  • What's the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • Which football team cooks gourmet meals together? The Kansas City Chefs.
  • What's the difference between the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs? The last Broncos Super Bowl team picture isn't in black and white.
  • Why are Kansas City Chiefs jokes getting dumber and dumber?? Because Chiefs fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • What do the Los Angeles Police Department and the Kansas City Chiefs have in common? Neither one can stop a Bronco.
  • How did the Kansas City Chiefs fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What do the Chiefs and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday.
  • How do you stop an Kansas City Chiefs fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Denver Broncos Orange and Blue!.
  • How do you know the Kansas State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Kansas City. For the first offense, they give you two Chiefs tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • How do the Chiefs spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • Did you hear about the joke that Alex Smith told his receivers? It went over their heads.
  • Why do Kansas City Chiefs fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.