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Indianapolis Colts Jokes  

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  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Indianapolis Colts fan? The bucket.
  • What did the Colts fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • What do the Indianapolis Colts and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • What is the new Colts official cologne creating a lot of buzz? You wear it and the other guy scores.
  • What does an Indianapolis Colts fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • What do the Colts have in common with Marijuna? They both get smoked in a Bowl.
  • How many Indianapolis Colts fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • Why doesn't Fort Wayne have a professional football team? Because then Indianapolis would want one.
  • Why do ducks fly over Lucas Oil stadium upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • Why are Indianapolis Colts jokes getting dumber and dumber?? Because Colts fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • Why do the Indianapolis Colts want to change their name to the Indianapolis Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What's the difference between the Indianapolis Colts and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple Indianapolis Colts games.
  • What do the Colts and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday.
  • How are the Colts like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • How do you casterate an Indianapolis Colts fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • Why do Indianapolis Colts fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Indianapolis Colts.
  • How do you stop an Indianapolis Colts fan from beating his wife? Dress her in New England Red White and Blue!
  • What's the difference between Indianapolis Colts fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • How many Indianapolis Colts does it take to win a Super Bowl? Just one, Peyton Manning, who now plays for the Broncos
  • How many Colts fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Texans shadow!
  • Why are so many Indianapolis Colts players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • How many Indianapolis Colts does it take to win a Super Bowl? Only one, Peyton Manning, and he plays for the Broncos.
  • How did the Indianapolis Colts fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What's the difference between the Indianapolis Colts & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • What should you do if you find three Indianapolis Colts football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • What does a Indianapolis Colts fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • What do the Indianapolis Colt’s and Dr. Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • What is a Indianapolis Colts fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat New England."
  • How do you know the Indiana State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Indianapolis. For the first offense, they give you two Colts tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • What does COLTS stand for? Coming Out Losers This Season.
  • What's the difference between Indianapolis Colts fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • How do you keep a Colts fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • How many Indianapolis Colts does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • What do you call an Indianapolis Colt in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • Why Does Peyton Mannings Wife Want A Divorce? It Seems She Caught Him Making A Pass To One Of His Team Mates.
  • What do the Indianapolis Colts and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • What's the difference between the Indianapolis Colts and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • Why is Donald Brown like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • What's the difference between the Indianapolis Colts & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • How do you keep an Indianapolis Colts out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Indianapolis Colts.
  • Where do you go in Indianapolis in case of a tornado? Lucas Oil Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
  • Did you hear that Indianapolis's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • What do you call a Colts fan with half a brain? Gifted.
  • How do you recognize an Colts player in a department store? He's the one trying to slam the revolving door.
  • How do the Colts spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • If you have a car containing a Colts wide receiver, a Colts linebacker, and a Colts defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • What do the Colts and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • What's the difference between an Indianapolis Colts fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • Want to hear a Colts joke? Frank Gore!
  • Why is Frank Gore like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • What is the difference between a Colts fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • How do you keep a Colts fan from masterbating? You paint his dick Patriots blue and red and he won't beat it for 4 years!
  • What do you call a beautiful girl in Indianapolis? A tourist.
  • What has eight arms and an I. of 60? Four Colts fans watching a football game.
  • A Indianapolis car salesman was fired Monday for wearing a NY Giants tie... Who knew a Colts fan could even tie a tie.
  • What do the Indianapolis Colts and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • What does C.O.L.T.S stand for? C.ount, O.n, L.osing, T.he, S.uperbowl