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Cleveland Browns Jokes  

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  • How do you know the Ohio State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Cleveland. For the first offense, they give you two Browns tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • What did i do on the toilet? I took the Browns to the Super Bowl.
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Cleveland Browns fan? The bucket.
  • What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • How many Cleveland Browns fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • Want to hear a Browns joke? Johnny Manziel!
  • What do you call a Cleveland Brown with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  • How do you keep a Browns fan from masterbating? You paint his dick Pittsburgh black and gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!
  • How do you know the Ohio State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Cleveland? For the first offense, they give you two Browns tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • Why do the Cleveland Browns want to change their name to the Cleveland Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • How do you casterate a Cleveland Browns fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • How many Cleveland Browns does it take to win a Super Bowl? Nobody knows and we may never find out!
  • How do you keep a Browns fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • Why is Josh McCown like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • What's the difference between the Browns and cigarettes? Mike Tomlin doesn't smoke cigarettes
  • How do you keep an Cleveland Browns out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • How do the Browns spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • What do you call a beautiful girl in Cleveland? A tourist.
  • What is a Cleveland Browns fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat the Steelers!"
  • Did you hear about the blonde burglar? He broke into the Cleveland Browns' trophy room.
  • What do you call a Cleveland Brown in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • If you have a car containing a Browns wide receiver, a Browns linebacker, and a Browns defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • How do you know the Browns had a 8-8 record this year? 8 arrests and 8 convictions.
  • What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • What's the difference between an Cleveland Browns fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • Why did the Browns get a new quarterback? They wanted to "Make RG3 Great Again".
  • Why are Cleveland Browns jokes getting dumber and dumber?? Because Browns fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • Why doesn't Columbus have a professional football team? Because then Cleveland would want one.
  • What's the best part about dating a Browns fan? She won't be asking for a ring!
  • What is a Cleveland Browns fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat Pittsburgh."
  • How are the Cleveland Browns like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • What is the difference between a Browns fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • How did the Cleveland Browns fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What did the Browns fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • What has eight arms and an I.of 60? Four Browns fans watching a football game.
  • How did the Cleveland Browns fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
  • What does an Cleveland Browns fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • Why do Cleveland Browns fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • How many Browns fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Baltimore's shadow!
  • Why shouldn't prosecutors release Browns WR Donte Stallworth from jail? Because if he's going back to Cleveland he won't notice a difference!
  • How do you stop an Cleveland Browns fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Pittsburgh Black and Gold.
  • What do the Cleveland Browns and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday.
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Cleveland Browns.
  • What does a Cleveland Browns fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • How are the Cleveland Browns like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • What is the new Browns official cologne creating a lot of buzz? You wear it and the other guy scores.
  • How many Browns players does it take to change a lightbulb! One, but don't ask Johnny Manziel because he's too busy flipping the other team off.
  • How many Cleveland Browns does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • What do the Cleveland Browns and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • Did you hear about the joke that Josh McCown told his receivers? It went over their heads.
  • What's the difference between Cleveland Browns fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • How many Browns fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in Pittsburgh's shadow!
  • What do the Cleveland Browns and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • What do Alex Trebek and the Cleveland Browns head coach have in common? Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.
  • What's the difference between Cleveland Browns fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • Did you hear that Johnny Manziel had to be helped out of the building, after being the 22nd pick in the NFL draft? He was diagnosed with a badly bruised ego.
  • Why do ducks fly over Cleveland Browns stadium upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • How do you stop an Cleveland Browns fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Pittsburgh Black and Gold!
  • How do the Browns count to 10? 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10.
  • What do the Browns and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • Why are so many Cleveland Browns players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • Why does President Obama want to send Browns QB Brandon Weeden to Syria? The CIA are convinced Brandon is the only American who can overthrow Bashir Assad.
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead? Have him watch a couple Cleveland Browns games.
  • What do the Cleveland Browns and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • What does a browns fan say to a robber? I hate the steelers.
  • Where do you go in Cleveland in case of a tornado? Cleveland Browns Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
  • Did you hear that Cleveland's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • Why can't Josh McCown use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
  • Why does Jim Brown want Lebron James to remain in Cleveland? Because misery loves company!
  • What should you do if you find three Cleveland Browns football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • Why shouldn't Cleveland fans be worried about the Brown's recent layoffs? They were all defensive players so no one will ever notice!
  • Why do NFL teams get excited about playing the Cleveland Browns? It's like having an extra bye week.