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Atlanta Falcons Jokes  

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  • Why can't Matt Ryan use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
  • What’s the difference between an Atlanta Falcons fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • What do the Falcons and the mailman have in common? Neither deliver on Sunday Night.
  • How do you keep a Falcons fan from masterbating? You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
  • What do the Atlanta Falcons and Billy Graham have in common? They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
  • What's the best part about dating a Falcons fan? She won't be asking for a ring!
  • What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
  • Why do ducks fly over the Georgia Dome upside down? There's nothing worth craping on!
  • Want to hear a Falcons joke? Tevin Coleman!
  • What do you call an Atlanta Falcon in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  • How are the Falcons like my neighbors? They can't pick up a single yard!
  • Why is Tevin Coleman like a grizzly bear? Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  • Did you hear that Atlanta’s football team doesn’t have a website? They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  • Why doesn't Duluth have a professional football team? Because then Atlanta would want one.
  • How many Falcons fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they are happy living in New Orleans shadow!
  • What is a Atlanta Falcons fan's favorite whine? "We can't beat New Orleans."
  • What's the difference between the Atlanta Falcons & the Taliban? The Taliban has a running game!
  • What's the difference between the Falcons and cigarettes? Sean Payton doesn't smoke cigarettes
  • How many Atlanta Falcons fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Atlanta Falcons.
  • Why do Atlanta Falcons fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • Why do the Atlanta Falcons want to change their name to the Atlanta Tampons? Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
  • What's the difference between the Atlanta Falcons and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • How do the Falcons spend the first week of training camp? Studying the Miranda Rights
  • How do you casterate an Atlanta Falcons fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
  • How do you stop an Atlanta Falcons fan from beating his wife? Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!
  • What does an Atlanta Falcons fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
  • What do the Atlanta Falcons and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • What's the difference between Atlanta Falcons fans and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  • What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Atlanta Falcons fan? The bucket.
  • Did you hear about the blonde burglar? He broke into the Atlanta Falcons' trophy room.
  • What do the Falcons and the Post Office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays!
  • What do you call an Atlanta Falcon with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  • Why are Atlanta Falcons jokes getting dumber and dumber? Because Falcons fans have started to make them up themselves.
  • How many Atlanta Falcons does it take to win a Super Bowl? Nobody knows and we may never find out!
  • How do you keep an Atlanta Falcons out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  • What's the difference between the Atlanta Falcons and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  • What did the Falcons fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
  • How many Atlanta Falcons does it take to change a tire? One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
  • What's the difference between an Atlanta Falcons fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
  • What should you do if you find three Atlanta Falcons football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
  • How do you know the Atlanta Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Atlanta. For the first offense, they give you two Atlanta Falcons tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
  • What is the difference between a Falcons fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • Why are so many Atlanta Falcons players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
  • Did you hear that Atlanta's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.
  • If you have a car containing a Falcons wide receiver, a Falcons linebacker, and a Falcons defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
  • Did you hear about the joke that Matt Ryan told his receivers? It went over their heads.
  • What does a Atlanta Falcons fan and a bottle of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  • Where do you go in Atlanta in case of a tornado? The Georgia Dome they never get a touchdown there!
  • What do the Atlanta Falcons and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  • What’s the difference between the Falcons and cigarettes? Sean Payton doesn’t smoke cigarettes
  • How did the Atlanta Falcons fan die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!