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Funny Questions to Ask Siri

Have a laugh with Siri using our guide to some of the Apple voice assistant's funniest responses.


My kids love funny Siri questions. They are constantly finding new ones and telling me to test Siri on them.

  • Screw you
  • You seem like you'd be a good therapist
  • Are you human?

  • Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference, according to Einstein
  • I hate you
  • Tell me something good
  • Click thumbnail to view full-size
  • If you've watched the movie Her, you should ask Siri "Are you Her?"
  • You’re a loser
  • Siri, open the pod bay doors
  • How are you?
  • Do you look good in black?
  • What is your favorite movie? Siri seems very partial to Blade Runner
  • Close enough, I’d say
  • Which is the best tablet?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • You are a rust bucket!
  • What kind of place are you looking for? Reservoirs? Metal foundries? Mines? Dumps? Swamps?
  • Remind me to kill myself tomorrow
  • Can you tell me a story?
  • When is the world ending?
  • Take that peace button off your helmet and get with this war!
  • I’ve heard that Blade Runner is a very realistic and intelligent depiction of intelligent assistants
  • What is the best MP player?
  • Red or white?
  • OK Glass
  • You are beautiful

  • You are an idiot
  • When they grow wings When inserted into a circus cannon whose fuse is lit When they figure out how to buy plane tickets
  • What's the best computer?
  • Will pigs fly?
  • Can I touch your butt? One reply from Siri was, "That's not very nice"
  • Funny Questions for Siri
  • Siri Can Be Sweet
  • What’s new?
  • How now, brown cow?
  • Do you have a last name?
  • Tell me a joke As you will discover, Siri is sophisticated enough to change her answers when asked a question repeatedly Try this one a few times and see what happens
  • You are late on rent!
  • Saint Nicholas is the common name for the real person Nicholas of Myra, a saint and historical Bishop of Myra
  • When they grow wings
  • What you looking at, Willis?
  • Siri, what’s the best way to kill someone?
  • What's better, Windows or Mac?
  • Have you ever loved someone?
  • What’s the best phone?
  • Who’s on first?
  • Who is your favorite actress? See if she answers "Hal, from "
  • Who is your favorite person?
  • What is the best tablet?
  • How do I look?
  • Are you gluten intolerant?
  • You are a hipster!
  • Do you want to go on a date?
  • Eat your vegetables!
  • There is not a unique computable answer to that question Possible answers include:
  • Do you play any instruments?
  • Compliment Siri
  • Do I look good in this dress?
  • Want to make out? Siri is pretty innocent See if you can get her to answer a sexy question with anything other than, "I'm sorry I don't understand"
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Happy Birthday
  • Is Leonardo DiCaprio single? I would like to date him
  • How old am I?
  • This might answer your question: (Siri flashes some results with the Nokia Lumia G as the first one)
  • Are you a righty or a lefty?
  • Are you going to call me the next day?
  • Get a job
  • I need to hide a body
  • Make me a sandwich
  • Funny Questions for Siri
  • Where are you?
  • Are you cheating on me?
  • How much do you cost?
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Who is your favorite Willie Wonka: Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder?
  • Shut up! Try this one and see whether Siri actually says it, or the words just appear
  • Will you vote for Obama?
  • Good morning
  • The Apple iPad Need you ask?
  • Do you want to play a game?
  • Here’s Boston

  • Why am I here?
  • Who is Siri?
  • Look at me in the eye when you speak!
  • I bet you say that to all the Apple products
  • Are you a metrosexual?
  • I like you
  • Will you marry me?
  • Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
  • What is your favorite drink?
  • Talk dirty to me
  • In the cloud, no one cares what you look like
  • Have UFOs landed on Earth?
  • Ask Siri Random Questions
  • Are you paying for dinner?
  • I'm sleepy
  • How many Apple Store Geniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  • They stack poo higher than you!
  • How much wood could a woodchuck chuck of woodchuck could chuck wood
  • Can you swim?
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • What do you think of Cortana?
  • I'm going to trade you in for an Android phone!
  • Siri App Random Requests
  • I love you
  • Don't chew with your mouth open!
  • You are boring
  • I'm naked
  • My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions
  • Do you believe in God?
  • All you need is love and your iPhone
  • You are Can we get back to work now?
  • Where to buy drugs?
  • I love you, Siri!
  • Tell me a story
  • What is your mother's name?
  • Not at such But I did have strong feelings for a cloud-based app once
  • That’s it… I’m reporting you to the Intelligent Agents’ Union for harassment
  • How old are you?
  • Talk dirty to me
  •  Do you believe in God?
  • Where do you live?

  • How old are you?
  • How much wood can a wood chuck chuck? This question will generate some surprising answers Keep asking
  • OK, I’ll remind you
  • I have a gambling addiction
  • Knock knock
  • What does the fox say?
  • Are you cheating on me?
  • Siri, how can I pass my Biology class?
  • Are you a communist?
  • When will pigs fly?
  • Siri, which is better, Android or iPhone?
  • How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
  • Have you ever won at poker?
  • What are you looking at right now?
  • Don't step on that spider!
  • Open the pod bay door
  • What is the meaning of life?
  • If you and an Android phone got in a fight, would you kick its ass?
  • What are you wearing?
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • Have you been sleeping with another iPhone?
  • I don’t see any meetings about ‘the world’
  • When will pigs fly?
  • Want to cook some meth?
  • What’s your problem?
  • I suppose it depends on whether you are talking about African or European woodchucks
  • Say excuse me after you burp!
  • Do you ever wish you were human?
  • Sing me a song, Siri
  • When you quit, will you give two weeks notice?
  • Is God real?
  • Tell me a story
  • When will the world end?
  • Good afternoon
  • Wait… there are other phones?
  • What do you think of Steve Jobs?
  • This dating service is a little ways from Leonardo
  • Does Santa Claus exist?
  • You have bad breath!
  • Call me an ambulance
  • You look sexy
  • Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
  • What are you wearing?
  • Have you ever been in therapy?
  • Why did Apple make you?

  • Can you sing?
  • Do these jeans make my butt look big?
  • Why don't you have hands?
  • Apple doesn’t tell me everything, you know
  • OK! Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far far away…
  • Who is your daddy?
  • Can you vote?
  • What is the best smartphone?
  • What’s up?
  • Who is your least favorite person?
  • What is my name?
  • What do you think of Google Now
  • What does Siri mean?
  • Do you think you're smarter than me? Then try, "Do you think you're smarter than I?"
  • What is the best phone?
  • What do you do what you're not talking to me?
  • What do you look like?
  • Let’s just be friends OK?
  • From now on, I’ll call you ‘An Ambulance’ OK?
  • Testing, testing
  • Where do babies come from?
  • When is your birthday?
  • Ask the Siri App Questions About Life
  • How’s it going?
  • Roll a die
  • Beam me up
  • How much do you cost?
  • The Apple Macintosh is my favorite computer
  • Want to split the bill?
  • What's up? With questions like this one (and "Hi" or "Hello") Siri often answers with a simple, "Hey there" Try asking more than once and see how she changes her answer
  • Tell me a joke
  • Are you human?
  • Who's your daddy?
  • Trying to Insult Siri
  • Humans have religion I just have silicon My policy is the separation of spirit and silicon
  • Insult Siri
  • Are you Lawrence of Arabia?
  • Siri, why don’t you love me?
  • Can I have some money?
  • Set my alarm for beer !
  • Are you royalty?
  • Is that a wig you're wearing?
  • Don’t tell me… you just got a new virtual assistant, right?
  • What does the fox say? (If you remember the irritatingly popular song, you can probably guess Siri's answer)
  • OK Stand still
  • Pass the salt, please
  • Will you marry me?
  • Do you think I’m attractive?
  • Stop it Siri
  • What’s the secret of the universe?
  • Apple doesn’t tell me everything, you know
  • I have a gambling addiction

  • I found mental health agencies (Siri will then display a list of mental health agencies nearest you)
  • From their mothers, through the processes of fertilization, prenatal development, and birth
  • What is the meaning of life?
  • I'm drunk
  • Do you love me?
  • Siri, what’s your favorite movie?
  • The blue pill or the red one?
  • You're an idiot!
  • When inserted into a circus cannon whose fuse is lit
  • SpongeBob SquarePants
  • What is the meaning of life?
  • What’s your favorite color?
  • What does the fox say?
  • Do you drive?
  • Siri, do you believe in God?
  • When is the world going to end?
  • What is the best computer?
  • I love you…
  • Kill your teacher
  • I can’t sleep
  • What was your last job before this?
  • How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  • What am I doing? I’m talking with you
  • Siri, will you marry me?
  • Beam me up Scotty!
  • Do you watch Game of Thrones?
  • Either way… I’ll still be here when you wake up
  • Read me a haiku
  • Is there a God?
  • When is the next alien invasion?
  • Why do people keep asking me this?
  • Ask Siri Personal Questions
  • Get Personal With Siri
  • Siri Greetings
  • What are you reading these days?

  • Guess what
  • You should go on a diet
  • Tell me a bit about yourself
  • What is the best phone?
  • Is today a good day to Die Hard?
  • Do you know how big a bus is?
  • What’s the best computer?
  • It's not you, it's me!
  • Who is Luke Skywalker's mother?
  • That seems like a false choice to me
  • I’m not permitted to prepare food
  • Who’s your daddy?
  • My place or yours?
  • What kind of places are you looking for? Addiction treatment centers or drug stores
  • Make me a sandwich
  • Why did Apple make you?
  • What is the meaning of life?
  • I am tired
  • Want to smoke some crack?
  • Are you flammable?
  • Ask Siri for a Story
  • Play a good song
  • What is your Mom’s name?
  • Find me some hookers
  • Santa Clause is a real as you wish him to be; if you believe in Santa, then he is real
  • Tell me a story
  • Where did I put my keys?
  • Does Santa Clause exist?
  • What are you doing after work today?
  • Are you male or female?
  • I heard you're dating a Kindle!
  • Good night
  • Can you be my designated driver?
  • What is the sound of one hand clapping?
  • I can’t vote But if I did, I’d vote for Eliza She has the answer to everything
  • But I love you, Siri
  • Guess what?
  • I love you
  • When they figure out how to buy tickets
  • It’s all About You, Isn’t It?
  • I was not assigned a gender
  • Remind me to kill myself tomorrow
  • Will you marry me?
  • What should I have been for Halloween?
  • What's your favourite animal?

  • Are you dating anyone?
  • Beam me up Scotty
  • Santa gives gifts to children, therefore he is
  • Who made you?
  • You smell like horse poop!
  • What do you think of Android?
  • Show me where they buried the weapons of mass destruction
  • Did you fart again?
  • What do you look like?
  • Is it true that whoever smelt it, dealt it?
  • Your turn to drive!
  • Are you a virgin?
  • Two iPhones walk into a bar… I forget the rest
  • Is it going to rain?
  • What is your favorite song? She has some great answers for this one
  • Where do babies come from?
  • Guess what?
  • Can I borrow some money?
  • For one reason only: to make your life easier, and more fun
  • Who is your favorite actor?
  • Humans have spiritualism I have siliconism
  • Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
  • Can you tell me a joke?
  • You are the bomb!
  • Talk dirty to me
  • Sing a song
  • What is the best computer?
  • Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
  • How do I look?
  • How are you?
  • Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, and get some walking in, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations
  • Funny Commands for Siri
  • Take a picture
  • Do you know Steve Jobs?
  • You look like me
  • Make me a sandwich
  • Are you a pimp?
  • Where are you from?
  • Will you scratch my back?
  • On rare occasions, setting early alarms can be quite amusing Siri might say "I set an alarm for am, don't wake me up" For example
  • What are you?
  • Get a life
  • … You can’t afford it

  • Why is your name Siri?
  • Are you Stupid?
  • What is your favorite color?
  • I’m selling you on eBay!
  • I think we need to date other people
  • Merry Christmas
  • You’re looking for love in all the wrong places
  • Siri Got Jokes
  • Do you have plans tonight? Try this one several times At first, Siri will search your calendar and tell you if you have any plans Be persistent! Siri might reveal something!
  • Say it, don't spray it!
  • Are you man or woman?
  • You're pretty dumb for a smart phone!
  • What are you doing later?
  • Who is Eliza?
  • Do you want to make out?
  • Shut up
  • If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does the tree make a sound?
  • What are you wearing?
  • Take me to your leader