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Packers Jokes  

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What do they call a crime circle in Green Bay?
A huddle

What do you call a good looking woman with a Packer fan?
A hostage!

 

How do we know the tooth brush was invented in Green Bay?
Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a TEETH brush!

 

Did you hear about the fire at the Green Bay library?
Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet.

 

Why do Packer fans wear cheese on their heads?
To keep the flies off their women!

Why do Packer fans go to family reunions?
To pick up girls

How do you know you are a Packer fan?
Your family tree looks like a telephone pole!

Why can't Brett Favre get into a huddle on the football field?
It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.

 

Did you here about the Packer fan that died at a pie eating contest? 
The cow kicked him in the head! 

 

What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan? 
An anorexic! 

 

What do you call a beautiful girl in Green Bay? 
A tourist. 

 

Why can't Ryan Grant get into his own driveway? 
Someone painted an endzone on it. 

 

How does a Packer fan find a sheep in the vast rolling hills of Wisconsin? 
Satisfying! 

 

What do you call a Packer fan with a sheep under his arm? 
A pimp. 

 

Who is the new Green Bay defensive coordinator?
Johhny Cochran!

 

What does the operator say when a person calls 911 in Green Bay?
Did you get the jersey number by any chance?

 

 

You might be a Packer fan if.... The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

Your family tree doesn't fork.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

 

Packer Dating (Outside the Family) Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

How many Green Bay Packers does it take to change a tire? 
One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up 

 

What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? 
The Green Bay Packers. 

What did the packers coach say to his team?
WE SUCK!!!!!

 

What is the difference between Big Foot and a SMART Packer?
Big Foot has been spotted

 

How can you tell you've met a fairweather packer fan?
They invite you into their home to show you their proud collection of VHS packer game tapes, but the 70's and 80 volumes are missing.

 

What did the Packer fan say when he ran out of crack ?
Man this team sucks !!!

 

What do Packer Backers miss most about a great party?
The invitation

 

How do you circumsize a Packer Fan?
Kick his sister in the mouth

 

Why cant Brett Favre get into his own driveway?
Someone painted and endzone on it

 

What do you call a sober Packer fan?
A liar.

 

What does a Wisconsin tornado have in common with a Cheese head going through a divorce?
Either way... someone's losing a trailer.

 

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb Packer fan, and a smart Packer fan are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart Packer fan and the dumb Packer fan thought it was a gum wrapper.

Why do the Green Bay Packers want to change their name to the Green Bay Tampons? 
Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string! 

Why wasn't Jesus born in Green Bay?
Because God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

What's the difference between the Green Bay Packers & the Taliban? 
The Taliban has a running game! 

 

Where do you go in Green Bay in case of a tornado? 
Lambeau Field they never get a touchdown there! Why do ducks fly over Lambeau Field upside down? A. There's nothing worth craping on! 

 

Why doesn't Madison have a professional football team? 
Because then Green Bay would want one. 

 

What is the difference between a Packer fan and a baby?
The baby will stop crying after awhile.

 

What do you call a Packer fan with half a brain?
Gifted. 

 

What do you call a beautiful girl at Green Bay Packers game?
A Bears Fan!

 

What do you call a Packer fan with a sheep under his arm?
A pimp.

Why do Packer fans smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them as well.

 

What do you call a beautiful girl in Green Bay?
A tourist.

 

How do you save a drowning Packer fan?
Take your foot off his head.

 

Did you hear about the fire at the Packers' library facilities?
Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet.

What do the Green Bay Packers and possums have in common? 
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! 

 

What is the difference between a Packers fan and a baby? 
The baby will stop whining after awhile. 

How do we know the tooth brush was invented in Green Bay?
Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a TEETHbrush!

 

What do you say to a drunken alcoholic who is passed out on your car after a Packer game?
“May I have your autograph Mr. Favre?"

 

What do you call a Wisconsin girl that can run faster than her brothers?
A virgin.

 

What do you have when you get 30 Packer fans in one room?
A full set of teeth!

 

What do you call a row of packer fans lined up ear to ear?
A wind tunnel!

 

Why did the Packer fan trade his wife in on an outdoor toilet?
He said the hole was smaller and it smelled better.

 

What's the difference between a female Packer fan and a bullhead?
One has whiskers and stinks and the other one is a fish.

 

How do you know when a Packer Fan is angry at you?
He grits his tooth at you!

 

What do you call Randy Moss with no arms or legs?
A Packer Star Receiver
How do a new born puppy and a Packer fan differ?
A new born puppy stops whining after a week.

 

If you are in a room with Hitler, Timothy McVeigh, and Brett Favre with a gun and two bullets, who do you shoot???
Favre, twice.

 

What's the difference between Cheerios and the Green Bay Packers?
Cheerios belong in a Bowl.

 

Why does Lambau Field have natural Grass?
The cheerleaders need somewhere to graze

 

What do you call a female Packer fan with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant

 

What do you call the Packer Huddle??
Drug ring!

 

Why did god create alcohol?
So Packer women could get laid.

 

Two Green Bay Packers are in a car, who's driving?
The COPS.

 

What do Blondes in Green Bay say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Why do Packer fans smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them as well.

 

What’s the difference between a porcupine and Lambeau Field?
The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine.

 

What do you call a Packer fan who can run faster than her brothers?
A virgin.

 

What do cheeseheads and hemorrhoids have in common?
They’re both a pain in the ass and never really go away.

 

Why does Lambeau Field have the new hybrid turf?
To keep the fans from grazing during the game.

 

What does a Wisconsin tornado have in common with a Cheesehead going through a divorce?
In both cases someone’s losing a trailer.

 

Why is it a good idea to bring a Packer fan along to a Bears game?
You can park in the handicap zone.

 

Why is the Brett Favre unable to answer a telephone?
He can't find the receiver.

 

What's the difference between a dead Vikings fan lying in the road and adead Packers fan lying in the road?
There's skid marks in front of the Vikings fan.

 

What's the sad part of a bus full of Packer fans going off a cliff?
There's an empty seat!

 

How many Packer fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2, one to hold down the lamp and the other to smoke crack till the room spins

 

What does School on Sunday have in common with Packer fans?
No class

 

What do you call a packer fan with half a brain?
Gifted

 

Why did Iowa get turned down to have a professional football team?
The comissioner said,"sorry but then Green Bay will want one too."

 

What do the Green Bay Packers and weed have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls

 

Packer women are so ugly they tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

 

Packer women are so ugly even Freddy Krueger has nightmares of them
Packer women are so ugly they put them in the monkey cage to make the monkeys stop jacking off.

 

How do you know the Green Bay offense is on the field ?
Listen for their back up beepers.

 

 

What's the difference between the Green Bay Packers and a dollar bill? 
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. 

 

 

 

What do the Green Bay Packers and Billy Graham have in common? 
They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". 

 

How do you keep an Green Bay Packers out of your yard? 
Put up goal posts. 

 

Why are so many Green Bay Packers players claiming they have the Swine Flu? 
So They don't have to touch the pigskin! 

 

What is a Green Bay Packers fan's favorite whine? 
"We can't beat Chicago." 

 

How do you stop an Green Bay Packers fan from beating his wife? 
Dress her in Chicago Black! 

 

What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Green Bay Packers fan? 
The bucket. 

 

If you have a car containing a Packers wide receiver, a Packers linebacker, and a Packers defensive back, who is driving the car? 
The cop. 

 

How do you casterate an Green Bay Packers fan? 
Kick his sister in the mouth 

 

What should you do if you find three Green Bay Packers football fans buried up to their neck in cement? 
Get more cement. 

 

What's the difference between an Green Bay Packers fan and a carp? 
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish. How did the Green Bay Packers fan die from drinking milk? A. The cow fell on him! 

 

What does an Green Bay Packers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? 
He turns off the PlayStation 3. 

 

What do you call an Green Bay Packer in the Super Bowl? 
A referee. 

 

Did you hear that Green Bay's football team doesn't have a website? 
They can't string three "Ws" together. 

 

How many Green Bay Packers fans does it take to change a lightbulb? 
None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man! 

 

What does a Green Bay Packers fan and a bottle of beer have in common? 
They're both empty from the neck up. 

 

Why do Green Bay Packers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? 
So they can park in handicap spaces. 

 

How do the Packers spend the first week of training camp? 
Studying the Miranda Rights 

 

How do you keep a Packers fan from masterbating? 
You paint his dick Chicago Black and he won't beat it for 4 years!