Things That Suck

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3-Way light bulbs that only work 1-way
404, not found
7-10 split
80's slang
Accidently setting your alarm for p.m. instead of a.m.
Acid Indigestion
Adolf Hitler
AIDS
Alcoholics
Allergies
Almost sneezing
Alzheimer's disease
AM radio
Ambulance Chasers
Amway
An itch that you can't reach
Anchovies
Andy Rooney
Animals in cages
Ants
Anyone who is easily offended
AOL free trial offer disks
Apocalypse
Arthritis
Artistic differences
Asbestos
Ass Clowns
ATMs that charge for use
Attention K-Mart Shoppers...
Automatic seatbelts
Babies in Movie Theatres
Babies with pierced ears
Baby On Board Signs
Back hair
Bad egg salad
Bad Hair Days
Bad hygiene
Bald Tires
Barely functional dribbling water fountains
Barney the dinosaur
Baywatch
Beanie babies
Beggars
Being a latch-key kid
Being broke
Being the butt of a joke
Big hair
Bigotry
Biting your tongue (figuratively and literally)
Blackouts
Bleeding
Blindness
Blisters
Blunt thumb tacks
Bob Saget shows
Boredom
Botox parties
Bounced checks
Bow ties
Boxing
Boy bands
Braces
Braggarts
Brain Freeze
Breaking the tip off a freshly sharpened pencil
Broccolli
Broken bones
Broken election promises
Broken hearts
Broken shoelaces
Bruises
Brussel sprouts
Budweiser frogs
Bullets
Bullfights
Bullies
Bunions
Burned toast
Burning the rainforests
Burping up bile
Bus Fumes
Busy Signals
Button fly jeans
Cafeteria food
Call waiting
California Raisins
Canker sores
Car alarms
Car dings
Car mechanics that change your radio, mirrors, and seat position
Cars with only one headlight
Cathy comics
Cats that bite and/or scratch
Cavities
Celine Dion
Censorship
Cheaters
Chess players
Chewing Tobacco
Child abuse
Chinese water torture
Cigarettes
Close-mindedness
Close-talkers
Cocaine
Coitus Interruptus
Cold Feet
Cold Sweats
Cold toilet seats
Colds
Collective Soul
Colorized classic movies
Commercial radio stations
Computer Viruses
Confederate flag
Conformists
Congressional deadlock
Constipation
Cops
Cottage cheese
Country & Western Music
Crack
Criminals
Crowds
Crust of mustard around top of bottle
Cuba
D.U.I.
Dander
Dandruff
Dead batteries
Dead Ends
Deadbeat Dads
Deadlines
Death
Debt
Decaffeinated coffee
Deer ticks
Delinquent debtors
Denial
Dentist visits
Dentures
Depression
Diabetes
Diaper Rash
Dirt
Dirty Diapers
Dirty public restrooms
Discrimination
Disgruntled Postal workers
Dishpan Hands
Divorce
Dixie car horns
Doing laundry
Doom
Dot matrix printers
Double spacing after a period.
Double-dippers
Drive-by shootings
Driver's license mugshots
Drive-through window clerks who drop your change
Driving behind a truck that's carrying logs
Driving behind an open bed truck that's hauling pebbles
Drooling on your pillow / desk, while take a nap
Dropping something jelly-side down
Drunk people
Dry heaves
Dry skin
Dungeons and Dragons
Dust
Dust bunnies
Dust mites
Dying
Ear wax
Earthquakes
East-West Rap Wars
Ebola
Ebonics
Egg salad
Election issues where a "No" vote means "Yes"
Elitism
E-Mail Chain Letters
Emergency broadcasting system tests
Energizer bunny
Enriched Wheat flour
Enron
Ephedrine
Escherichia Coli
Ethnic cleansing
Exhaustion
Expired coupons
Exploding Ink Pens
Extreme weather conditions
Fabio
Fake boobs
Fake breasts
Falling and not being able to get up
Falling asleep at work
Fat Free Chocolate
Fat guys in Speedos
Fax machines
Federal Records Service
Felons
Female Circumcision
Fighting with your best friend
Fights
Fingernails on a chalkboard
Flat tires
Flat soda
Fleas
Flesh-eating viruses
Flies
Floods
Flu
Fog
Food courts
Forgetting how a dream ends
Forgetting things
Forgetting where you parked your car
Forgetting where you put the cordless phone
Forgetting your deodorant
Frat boys
Fraud
Freezer Burn
French
Frivolous lawsuits
Frostbite
Fruitcake
Full parking lots
Funny smells in small rooms
Fur coats
Fuzzy toilet seat covers
Game show hosts
Gangrene
Gas Station restrooms
Gas stations that charge for air
Generic brand products
Geocities banner ads
Getting dumped
Getting struck by lightning
Getting up before the sun
Getting used to the startling vibrations of a new pager
Gnats
Godzilla
Going Bald
Gold Teeth
Goodbyes
Goth freaks
Government Shutdown
Grammy, Emmy awards, Oscars
Gray areas
Grinch
Growing apart from your friends
Grungy buildup at the mouth of a ketchup bottle
Guilt
Gum stuck to your shoe
Guns
Hair loss
Hairballs
Hairs in your shirt after a haircut
Hairspray
Halitosis
Hand dryers
Hand-me-downs
Hangnails
Hanson
Hard jeans
Hate
Having a stupid song stuck in your head
Having to work on a holiday
Hazing
Headaches
Heel part on a loaf of bread
Heroin
Herpes
Hiccups
Hockey fights
Hole in the ozone layer
Home Shopping Network
Homelessness
Homework
Homophobia
Humidity
Hurricanes
Hypocrisy
Hypothermia
Ignorance
Indecision
Ineptitude
Inflation
Infomercials
Ingrown toenails
Innoculations
Insect bites
Insomnia
Insurance payments
Intolerance
I.R.A.
Iran
Iraq
Jackhammers
Jellyfish stings
Jenny Jones
Jet lag
Joan Rivers' clapping
Job interviews
Jock itch
Jocks
John Rocker
John Tesh
Johnny Cochran
Junk E-Mail
Junk mail
Just being friends
Kevin Costner movies
Kids who hang out in arcades
Knock-knock jokes
Ku Klux Klan
L. Ron Hubbard
Last call
Last place sports teams
Lawyers
Leaky pens
Learning Calculus
Leaving your headlights on
Leeches
Leftover Christmas lights
Leftovers
Leprosy
Liars
Librarians
Libya
Lice
Litter
Loan payments
Local news coverage
Locking keys in car
Lockjaw
Long lists
Long-distance relationships
Long-distance telephone companies
Losing an hour to that "Spring Forward" crap
Losing things
Lost keys
Lyme disease
Macarena
Mad cow disease
Mafia
Make-up companies that experiment on animals
Mastercard "priceless" commercials
Materialism and excess
Math classes
Max Headroom
Melodrama
Men with breasts
Menendez brothers
Menstuation
Mentos Commercials
Menudo
Meteors
Michael Bolton
Mike Tyson
Militia Groups
Milli Vanilli
Mind games
Minimum wage
Missing puzzle pieces
Missing socks
Mistaking baking chocolate for real chocolate
Modem line noise
Mold
Mondays
Money hungry defense lawyers
Monica Lewinsky
Mononucleosis
Montgomery Burns
Morning Breath
Morning Eye Crud
Morning people
Mosquitos
Movies based on Saturday Night Live characters
MS-DOS
MSG
Mudslinging
Mutated genes
Nasal congestion
Nausea
Nazis
Neon color clothing
Never a cop around when you need one
New Jersey
New Kids on the Block
Newman
Newt Gingrich
Nightmares
No U Turn intersections
Noise
Non-functional outdoor water fountains
NRA
Nuclear weapons
Oasis brothers
O.J. (the murderer, not the beverage)
One-way streets
Opera
Osama bin Laden
Out-of-order ATMs
Overcrowded prisons
Overdue library books
Overexposed Film
Overpaid/Underpaid people
P.M.S.
Pain
Panhandlers
Paparazzi
Paper cuts
Paranoia
Parents who don't put their kids in car seats
Parties where you don't know anyone
Pedophiles
Pencils with no eraser
Pennies
Pens with no ink
People in theatres who talk during the movie
People who can't pronounce: nuclear, amphitheatre,...
People who complain about worthless shit
People who don't believe there's a hole in the ozone layer
People who don't knock
People who don't tip
People who don't use keyboard shortcuts
People who don't use turn signals
People who don't vote
People who don't wash their hands after urinating
People who don't wear seatbelts while driving
People who don't write back
People who leave their engine running at gas pumps
People who name their kids "Barbi," "Candi," "Buffy," etc.
People who park where it says "NO PARKING"
People who press the elevator buttons even though they're already pressed
People who use hand quotes
People who quote an entire e-mail message, (w/ signature), to reply to 1 question
People who say things like: "Anyways"
People who stare
People who take over 10 minutes at the ATM
People who talk to themselves
PEOPLE WHO TYPE E-MAIL IN CAPS
People who wear too much cologne/perfume
People with 13 items in the "10 items or less" line
People with nasal voices
Pessimism
Phone tag
Physical therapy
Pickpockets
Pigeons
Pimento cheese
Plaid
Plague
Plastic wood finish toilet seat covers
Pledging
Plotless movies
Poison Ivy / Poison Oak
Politically correct
Pollen on a freshly washed car
Pollution
Poodles
Poor sportsmanship
Poorly-dubbed foreign films
Popcorn stuck between your teeth
Pork rinds
Pot bellies
Potheads
Potholes
Poverty
Power Rangers
Power Surges
Prejudice
Presidential debates
Pretentious middle initials
Price of gas
Pringles commercials
Propaganda
Psychic Hotlines
Psycho Ex-Girlfriends
Public TV begging for money
Rabid dogs
Racism
Radio commercials
Radio D.J.s who put you on hold for 30 minutes
Rain
Rain after you wash your car
Rainy Weekends
Rape
Rats
Refolding a map
Rejection
Religious Cults
Religious fanatics
Renting 2 movies, but watching just 1
Repitition
Repression
Reruns on TV
Resetting all your clocks after the electricity goes out
Reverse discrimination
Rhetoric
Richard Simmons
Ringworm
Roaches
Road construction detours
Road rage
Road rash
Rodeos
Rubberneckers
Rumors
Running out of gas
Running out of Halloween candy
Running out of Post-It's
Running out of printer paper
Running out of toilet paper
Running with scissors
Ruptured discs
Russia
S.I.D.S. - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
Saddam Hussein
Satan
School
Second-hand smoke
Seniors who still drive
Sentences that end in a preposition
Settling for less
Shipwrecks
Short Notice
Sickle cell anemia
Silent letters (gnat, pneumonia)
Silverfish
Slow downloads
Slow Putt Putters
Slugs
Small towns
Smart-asses
Smoking
Smudgy newspaper ink
Snakes
Snoring
Snuff
Soap scum
Soccer
Sour milk
Spaghetti splatter on a white shirt
Spam
Speeding tickets
Speedwalkers
Spice Girls
Spiders
Spit
Splinters
Squeaky brakes
Stains
Stale potato chips
Stalking
Stamp glue
Static
Static Cling
Static Electric shocks
Stevie Wonder's hair
Stress
Suckers
Sun shades for cars
Sunburn
Sunday's
Sunglasses
Sweat shops
Synthesizer music
Tabloid newspapers
Taco Bell
Tampon commercials
Tardiness
Taxes
Teasing
Teflon-coated bullets
Telemarketers
Televangelists
Termites
Terrorism
Terrorists
Terry Nichols
That damn "chicken/egg" argument
That not-so-fresh feeling
That tingly feeling when your foot falls asleep
Thieves
Things made only for right handed people
Thinking of a great comeback after an argument is over
Those stupid nose band-aid's that football players wear
Ticketmaster
Tight jeans
Tim McVeigh
Tobacco
Toll booths
Tooth Decay
Toothaches
Tornadoes
Touching ice with wet hands
Toupees
Toxic Waste
Traffic
Traffic Court
Traffic Jams
Trekkies
Tropical Storms
TV evangelists
Typos
Unabomber - Ted Kaczinsky
Underexposed Film
Ugly babies
Unrequited Love
Unwanted romantic advances
Used Car salesmen
Vacuums
Vampires
Vanilla Ice
Vanity plates
Video Rental Late Fees
Violence
Voice mail
Vomiting
Waiting
Wannabes
War
Warm beer
Warm salsa
Warm toilet seats
Warts
Weak Condoms
Welfare cheats
Wet matches
Wet pet food commercials that show the food
When a vending machine rejects your dollar
When an airline loses your luggage
When coffee goes cold
When cool TV shows get cancelled
When dogs sniff your crotch
When fast food joints screw up your order
When guilty people get off
When innocent people get convicted
When people hang up on your answering machine / voice mail
When someone steals your idea
When someone steals your license plates
When someone takes your place
When the bottom of your foot itches
When the cable goes out
When the electricity goes out
When things roll under the couch or fridge
When you can't get the fire started in the fireplace
When you get together with friends, but can't decide what to do
When you have to explain a joke
When you hit your funny bone
When you learn the truth about Santa Claus
When your Girl Scout Cookies run out
When you're down to your last Mento
Women bodybuilders
Women who complain that they're fat, when they really aren't
Working the graveyard shift
Worms
Wrestling
Wrinkles
Yappy dogs
Zima
Zits