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Tennis Puns

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Tennis Puns 2017

 

  • You Just Got Served
  • Tennis Starts With Love
  • My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.
  • Does this guy work with computers? He looks like a hacker.
  • The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
  • I’m trying to be a good guy, and I’m not that good a guy.
  • Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
  • Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
  • I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
  • On front: We’re Going To Win
  • Practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect
  • Championships are won at practice
  • I don’t know that my behavior has improved all that much with age; they just found someone worse.
  • Never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is best.
  • Two birds played a tennis match. Ironically, the one that made the worst calls was a Hawk….aye!
  • But only the love can make you a player.
  • I’ve seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.
  • Refuse to Lose!
  • Serve it, Smash it, Win it, Love it.
  • It’s a lot harder than tennis. If I make a mistake, it’s like 0-15. In boxing, you let your head down once and you’re in the hospital.
  • My uncle always described an unforced error as his first marriage.
  • Winning is a habit, Success is a choice
  • A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
  • Look up, get up, but never give up
  • All Out, All Game, All Season
  • It’s what you do before the season start that makes a champion.
  • Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
  • Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
  • Love Means Nothing to a Tennis Player Party at the Net
  • You can’t be as good as, you have to be better than
  • Tennis Anyone?
  • The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
  • My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
  • There’s no traffic on the extra mile
  • I see Robinson’s are still sponsoring tennis. I would have thought that squash is more their thing.
  • I will never accept defeat
  • I will never quit
  • It’s a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.
  • Talk with your raquet, play with your heart
  • United we play, United we win
  • I have one animal in my farm who I look up to more than Federer: GOAT.
  • I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
  • I’m glad you’re doing this story on us and not on the WNBA; we’re so much prettier than all the other women in sports.
  • Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? To them, "Love" means nothing.
  • I’m trying to kick your ass. In a nice way.
  • Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
  • out hustle
  • Unity in Adversity
  • Not surprised by the high divorce rate among tennis players. Love means nothing to them.
  • These ball boys are marvellous; you don’t even notice them; there’s a left-handed one over there that I noticed earlier.
  • I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.
  • The press can make you a superstar.
  • Short girls who take all the tall guys.
  • Others make it happen.
  • Respect All, Fear None
  • Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
  • I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
  • All it takes is all you’ve got!
  • Out run
  • Every day two million Americans play tennis and one million of them lose.
  • Believe & Achieve
  • All gong and no dinner… we just wish Anna would finally win something aside from hearts.
  • Sweat plus Sacrifice equals Success
  • the credit.
  • Intensity is not a perfume!
  • Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now
  • Some wish it would happen,
  • Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
  • A friend of mine likes to stand in the middle of tennis courts. Annette.
  • I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
  • A friend has to wear glasses whilst playing tennis. It’s a non-contact sport.
  • out play
  • I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
  • Game, Set, Match!
  • If you believe that [Anna Kournikova's claim that she is a virgin], I've never questioned a call in my life.
  • Some want it to happen,
  • Tennis is downright smashing!
  • Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
  • Whatever it takes
  • They call me Ace, because you just got served.
  • I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
  • Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
  • Grass is for cows.
  • Practice winning every day
  • A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying I’m with Draw to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
  • Hustle, hit and never quit
  • He’s got the balls and when he’s holding them he controls the tempo.
  • Demand respect or expect defeat
  • A contract can make you rich.
  • I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
  • Practice, practice, practice
  • You Got Served
  • Watching Connors and McEnroe play was a little bit like watching the Indianapolis 500. You know that a good portion of the crowd was there not to see them play, but to explode.
  • Ya Gotta Believe
  • Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.
  • Local tennis club’s website is down. I think they are having problems with their server.
  • I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
  • Win The Last Game
  • I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
  • I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
  • A team above all. Above all a team.
  • The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
  • Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
  • So close to beating a chocolate bar at tennis. Was only a breakaway.
  • Imagine what the Chuckle Brothers would say to each other during a game of tennis.
  • Bringing out the best in each other
  • Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
  • Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
  • The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
  • If its gotta be, it starts with me
  • Never let good enough BE enough!
  • Play like a Champion Today
  • Got to let one rest and be fertilized while I’m using the other.
  • You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
  • I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
  • Our blood, our sweat, your tears.
  • Order on the Court
  • You Have Met Your Match
  • out WIN
  • The best players, I think, are always the ones who remember their losses, because they remember the pain and they hate it.
  • Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
  • Tennis: It’s all about the LOVE!
  • Baby Got Backhand
  • There is no limit to what can be accomplished when nobody cares who gets
  • On back: So Coach Doesn’t Lose His Job
  • It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
  • Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
  • An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
  • Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard
  • Love means Nothing.
  • I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
  • I’m a professor in the school of how to break the racket.
  • Deeds not Words
  • I’ve invented a new game called Silent Tennis. It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.
  • If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.
  • Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
  • Serve It, Smash It, Win It, Love It
  • Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
  • I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.
  • The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
  • American Indians used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (I mean no disrespect to American Indians!)
  • Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
  • What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis? Telling your parents that your gay!
  • What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? "See you round.."
  • We’re Downright Smashing!
  • The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
  • Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
  • I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
  • Where do ghosts play tennis? On a tennis corpse!
  • Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
  • Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.
  • I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
  • Kiss My Ace
  • Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
  • I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
  • I will never leave a fallen teammate
  • A new tennis player goes to the library and asks for books about aces. No way, says the librarian, you won’t return them.
  • You Only Live Once, But You Get to Serve Twice
  • Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
  • Hustle and heart set us apart
  • Got a second hand tennis racquet for only $10. No strings attached.
  • Was in a shop recently, I pressed the bell that said Service. I got hit in the face with a tennis ball.
  • Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
  • We Are Family
  • Good. Better. Best.
  • What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
  • I will always place the Team first;
  • Deuce is used so you don’t have to count so high.
  • He doesn’t cook well.
  • If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
  • The fans can make you famous.

 

 

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