Dumb and Dumber Sound Bites
Audio Clips from Dumb and Dumber . ... Dumb and Dumber Sound Bites ... Fast version of "Dumb and Dumber " theme song.
Dumb and Dumber Quote
Dumb and Dumber Audio Clips
Dumb and Dumber WAVs
Dumb and Dumber Sound Bites
Seniors.wav (133K)
Lloyd: Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although
slow, and dangerous behind the wheel can still serve a purpose. Now
don't you go dying on me!
NoJobs.wav (58K)
Lloyd: We got no food. We got no jobs. Our pet's HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!!
Aspen.wav (206K)
Lloyd: Some place warm, a place where the beer flows like wine,
where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.
I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
Harry: "Skis huh?"
Beth Jordan: "That's right."
Harry: "Great, they yours?"
Beth Jordan: "Uh huh."
Harry: "Both of them?"
Beth Jordan: "Yah."
Harry: "Huh... cool."
Harry: "My parakeet Peetie, he's dead."
Lloyd: "Oh... oh man, I'm sorry, what happened?"
Harry: "His head fell off!"
Lloyd: "HIS HEAD FELL OFF!"
Harry: "Yeah, he was pretty old."
head.wav
Harry: "You sold my dead bird to a blind kid! Lloyd, Peetie didn't even have a head."
Lloyd: "Harry, I took care of it!"
Gripes.wav (31K)
Lloyd: GRIPES!!!
Lloyd: "Excuse me Flo?"
Lloyd: "(Reading a framed headline) No Way! That's great... We've Landed On The Moon! "
Harry: "One time we successfully mated a bulldog with a bleep
zu..."
Mary: "Really, that's weird."
Harry: "Yeah, we... we called it a Bullbleep
."
dumb-accent.wav
Lloyd ... "That's a lovely accent you have. New Jesey?"
??? ... "Austria."
Lloyd ... "Austria! Well then, good day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barby!"
??? ... "Let's not."
ExtraGloves.wav (302K)
Harry: I can't feel my fingers anymore Lloyd, there numb.
Lloyd: Maybe you should wear these extra gloves, my hands are starting to get sweaty.
Harry: Extra gloves? You've had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?
Lloyd: Yeah, we're in the Rockies.
FunBags.wav (101K)
Harry: Look at the fun bags on that hose hound.
Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some farver beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.
BoneHer.wav (128K)
Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling Lloyd.
Mary: "So, you'll pick me up tonight at 7:45?"
Harry: "No, uh, well no I got a few things I gotta take care of first. How about quarter to eight."
Mary: "(Laughs)"
Harry: "OK, 7:45."
soup.wav
Lloyd: "Uh, what is the soup du jour?"
Waitress (Diane Kinerk): "It's the soup of the day."
Lloyd: "Mmm, that sounds good. I'll have that."
dumb-aspen.wav
Lloyd ... "So where ya headed?"
Mary ... "Aspen."
Lloyd ... "Mmm...California, beautiful."
dumb-at10.wav
Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne ... "...why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?"
Lloyd ... "I just figured she was a raging alcoholic."
Chance2.wav (236K)
Lloyd: You mean not good like 1 out of a 100?
Marry: I'd say more like 1 out of a million.
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance. Yeah! I read ya.
dumb-beam.wav
Lloyd ... "Oh yea, yea. Tractor beam. Sucked me right in."
dumb-bet.wav
Lloyd ... "I bet you 20 bucks I can get ya gambling before the end of the day."
Harry ... "No way."
Lloyd ... "I'll give you 3 to 1 odds..."
Harry ... "Nope."
Lloyd ... "5 to 1?"
Harry ... "Nope."
Lloyd ... "10 to 1?"
Harry ... "Your On!"
[Laughing]
Lloyd ... "I'm gonna get ya! I don't know how, but I'm gonna get ya!"
Harry ... "Uh uhh..."
dumb-boneher.wav
Lloyd ... "First time I set eyes on Mary Swanson I just got that old
fashioned romantic feeling. Where I'd do anything to bone her."
dumb-boozin.wav
Motorcycle Cop ... "You fellas been doin' a bit of boozin' have ya? Suckin' back on Grandpa's old cough medicine?"
dumb-breeding.wav
Harry ... "I've even bred them."
Mary ... "Oh yeah, any unusual breeding?"
Harry ... "No mostly just doggy style."
dumb-bullshit.wav
Harry ... "One time we successfully mated a bulldog with a shitzu."
Mary ... "Really, that's weird."
Harry ... "Yeah, we called it a bull-shit."
dumb-butt.wav
Harry ... "Holy geez, look at the butt on that!"
Lloyd ... "Yeeh, he must workout."
dumb-check.wav
Lloyd ... "Check please."
dumb-deadbird.wav
Harry ... "You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?"
dumb-diareah.wav
Harry makes some terrible noises after being tricked by Lloyd.
dumb-eatthat.wav
Cam Neely as Sea Bass ... "Are you going to eat that?"
Harry ... "What that? No, yes, no, well, no, it, uhh, crossed my mind, yea."
dumb-fired.wav
Harry ... "Do, you got fired again, huh?"
Lloyd ... "Oh, yea. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident. You know.."
dumb-french.wav
Harry ... "Where are we gonna go?"
Lloyd ... "...I'm talking about a little place called Aspen."
Harry ... "I dunno Lloyd, the French are assholes."
schoolboy.wav
Lloyd: "I desperately want to make love to a school boy."
in_face.wav
Harry: "Then they slaped this bullet proof vest on me and gave me a gun."
Lloyd: "But what if he shot you in the face?"
Harry: "What if they shot me in the face?"
Beth Jordan: "That's a risk we were willing to take."
dumb-funbags.wav
Harry ... "Go look at the fun bags on that hose hound."
dumb-gasmoney.wav
Harry ... "According to the map we've only gone about four inches. You know I don't think we have enough gas money."
dumb-headsoff.wav
Lloyd ... "We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets heads are fallin' off!"
dumb-hooters.wav
Harry ... "Nice set of hooters ya got there."
Mary ... "I beg your pardon?"
Harry ... "The owls. They're beautiful."
dumb-hot.wav
Lloyd and Harry go into a spaz after eating some atomic peppers.
dumb-idea.wav
Harry ... "Wait, I think I just -- Yea, I just had an idea."
dumb-kungfu.wav
Jim Carrey as Lloyd shows off his Kung-Fu.
dumb-limo.wav
??? ... "Sir, you can't go in there!"
Lloyd ... "It's ok! I'm a limo driver!"
dumb-listening.wav
Harry ... "Yea, I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me
not listening to her enough or something. I don't know I wasn't really
paying attention."
dumb-pathetic.wav
Lloyd ... "Man! You are one pathetic loser!"
dumb-petedied.wav
Harry ... "My parakeet Petey, he's dead."
Lloyd ... "Oh I'm sorry. What happened?"
Harry ... "His head fell off!"
dumb-pullover.wav
Motorcycle Cop ... "Pullover!"
Harry ... "No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing."
dumb-robbed.wav
Lloyd ... "I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart, and I didn't even see it coming!"
dumb-sampsnte.wav
Harry ... "What's her last name? I'll look it up."
Lloyd ... "Ahh, you know I don't really recall. Starts with an S."
Harry ... "Maybe it's on the briefcase, look on the--."
Lloyd ... "Oh yeah! It's right here, Sampsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S though!"
dumb-seniors.wav
Lloyd ... "Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow
and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose."
dumb-skis.wav
Harry ... "Skis huh?"
Lady ... "That's right."
Harry ... "Great. They yours?"
Lady ... "Uh huh."
Harry ... "Both of them?"
dumb-soup.wav
Lloyd ... "What is the soup de jour?"
Waitress ... "It's the soup of the day."
Lloyd ... "Mmm, that sounds good, I'll have that."
dumb-yourit.wav
Lloyd and Harry play an all-out game of their version of tag.
Accent.wav (192K)
Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Woman: Austria.
Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Woman: Lets not.
Sideways.wav (30K)
Lloyd: Suck me sideways!
Loser.wav (51K)
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser!
TractorBeam.wav (54K)
Lloyd: Oh yeah, tractor beam... sucked me right in.
Job.wav (111K)
Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip.
Lloyd: Yeah, unless you want to work 40 hours a week.
DoingIt.wav (25K)
Lloyd: WE'RE REALLY DOING IT THOUGH AREN'T WE BUDDY!!!
Flo.wav (145K)
Lloyd: Excuse me Flo. [laughing] Flo like the T.V. show.
SoupDuJour.wav (79K)
Lloyd: What is the soup du jour.
Waitress: It's The Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm... that sounds good, I'll have that.
LikeItAllot.wav (71K)
Lloyd: Feels good to mingle with these laid back country folk don't it Harry. I like it allot.
SeaBass.wav (15K)
Man: KICK HIS ASS SEA BASS!!!
PullOver.wav (98K)
State Trooper: Pull over!
Harry: No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.
Lloyd: Yeah! Killer boots man!
Boozing.wav (306K)
State Trooper: You fellas been doing a bit of Boozing have ya? Sucking back on grandpa's old cough medicine.
Harry & Lloyd: Oh no, no sir.
State Trooper: Yeah well what's that?
Harry: That's nothing sir.
Lloyd: Yeah nothing.
State Trooper: Yeah, well you aware it's against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the state of Pennsylvania? Come on give me them booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak!
MouthShut.wav (36K)
State Trooper: You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for ya buddy!
TicTac.wav (13K)
Lloyd: Tic Tac Sir?
PayAttention.wav (73K)
Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something I don't know I really wasn't paying attention.
Gambling.wav (389K)
Harry: I think you're wrong Lloyd.
Lloyd: How much you want to bet?
Harry: I don't bet.
Lloyd: What do you mean you don't bet?
Harry: I mean I don't bet.
Lloyd: Pussy pusssy pussssy. Yeah, right. I bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
Harry: No way.
Lloyd: I'll give you 3 to 1 odds.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: 5 to 1.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: 10 to 1.
Harry: You're on.
Lloyd: I'm gonna get ya. I don't know how, but I'm gonna get ya.
AnnoyingSound.wav (218K)
Lloyd: Hey, you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?
DeadMeat.wav (64K)
Lloyd: Life's a fragile thing Harry. One minute you're chewing on a burger the next minute you're dead meat.
BigGulps.wav (66K)
Lloyd: Hey guys, oh big gulps huh... alright well see you later.
Rockies.wav (124K)
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver is full of shit man.
Redeem.wav (190K)
Harry: You know Lloyd, just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself.
Butt.wav (70K)
Harry: Holly jeez look and the butt on that.
Lloyd: Yeah, he must work out. Vibe.wav (45K)
Lloyd: I'm gonna hang by the bar. Put out the vibe.
Hooters.wav (17K)
Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there.
DoggyStyle.wav (32K)
Mary: Any unusual breeding?
Harry: No, mostly just doggy style.
BullShit.wav (163K)
Harry: One time we successfully mated a Bulldog with a Shitzu.
Mary: Really? That's weird.
Harry: Yeah, we called it a Bullshit.
Don'tCare.wav (39K)
Lloyd: No, and I don't care!
Moon.wav (88K)
Lloyd: No way that's great. WE LANDED ON THE MOON!!!
PickUp.wav (148K)
Mary: So you'll pick me up tonight at 7:45?
Harry: Well no I got a few things to take care of first, but why don't we make it a quarter to 8.
Mary: Stop it.
Harry: O.K. 7:45.
Shit.wav (300K)
[Harry taking a Turbo Lax induced shit.]
Laugh.wav (114K)
[Lloyd laughing.]
schoolboy.wav (27K)
Lloyd: I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.
Chance1.wav (98K)
Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?
IOU.wav (174K)
Nicholas Andre: Where's all the money?
Lloyd: That's as good as money sir, those are IOUs. Go ahead and add it up every cents accounted for. Look, see this that's a car, 275 thou might want to hang on to that one.
KissIt.wav (126K)
Lloyd: If one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn, maybe we should call it quits right now.
Harry: You just show me where to sign bud.
Lloyd: RIGHT ON MY ASS AFTER YOU KISS IT!!!
HorribleShot.wav (211K)
Lloyd: You killed my best friend you bastard!
Nicholas Andre: Well if it's any consolation you're about to be reunited.
[Harry unloads his gun on Andre and doesn't hit him once]
Lloyd: Harry, you're alive, and you're a horrible shot.
LuckyGuys.wav (324K)
Lloyd: WOW! Two lucky guys are gonna be driving around with those girls for the next couple of months!
Harry: Yeah, don't worry we'll catch our break too we just got to keep our eyes open.
Lloyd: Yep.
Lloyd: You're it.
Harry: You're it...
def_stupid.wav
Announcer From Trailer: "(The Definition of stupid) Stupid; A person below normal intelligence"
freakout.wav
Lloyd: "They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?"
listening.wav
Harry: "Yeah, I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about not listening to her enough or somethin. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention."
nofood.wav
Lloyd: "We've got no food. We've got no job, our pets HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"
denver.wav
Harry: "I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this."
Lloyd: "I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver is full of bleep
!"
feeling.wav
Lloyd: "First time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I got that romantic, old fashioned feeling where I'd do anything to bone her."
Harry: "That's a special feeling Lloyd."
austria.wav
Lloyd (Jim Carrey): "That's a lovely accent you have there... New Jersey?"
Bus stop beauty (Lisa Stothard): "Austria."
Lloyd: "Austria! Well then... gooday mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie."
airport.wav
Lloyd: "Why you going to the airport... Flying somewhere?"
Mary Swanson (Lauren Holly): "How'd you guess?"
Lloyd: "Ah, I saw the luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket I put two and two together."
aspin.wav
Lloyd: "So, where are you headed?"
Mary: "Aspin."
Lloyd: "Mmm, California... Beautiful."
limo.wav
Flight Director: "Sir, you can't go in there."
Lloyd: "It's OK, I'm a limo driver."
fired.wav
Harry (Jeff Daniels): "So, you got fired again huh?"
Lloyd: "Oh yeah!, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident."
loser.wav
Lloyd: "Man... You are one pathetic loser."
senior.wav
Lloyd: "Hey!, I guess they're right. Senior Citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose."
robbed.wav
Lloyd: "I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart... And I didn't even see it coming."
dumb-2and2.wav
Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas ... "Why ya goin' to the airport? Flyin' somewhere?"
Lauren Holly as Mary Swanson ... "How'd you guess?"
Lloyd ... "Well, I saw your luggage, and when I saw the airline ticket I put two and two together."
like_it.wav
Lloyd: "Feels good to mingle with these layed back country folk don't it Harry? I-like-it-a-lot."
eat_that.wav
Sea bass (Cam Neely): "You gonna eat that?"
Harry: "What that...no...yes...no...well no...I...I...It crossed my mind. Yeah."
idea.wav
Lloyd: "Wait a sec... I think I just... Yeah, I just had an idea."
idea2.wav
Harry: "That was geinius Lloyd... shear genius. Where did you come up with a scam like that?"
Lloyd: "I saw it in a movie once."
Harry: "Ha Ha that was
increadible. So what happened... So the guy tricked some sucker into
picking up his tab and gets away with it scott free."
Lloyd: "No, in the movie they catch up to him a half mile down the road and slit his throat... It was a good one huh huh."
tic_tac.wav
Harry: "No sir, I W-w-w-w-w-wouldn't..."
Lloyd: "No sir, don't. Don't dri..."
Motorcycle Cop: "You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for ya buddy."
Motorcycle Cop: "(takes a swig of Lloyds piss from the beer bottle fllowed by some stange noises and a bitter face.)"
Lloyd: "Tic Tac sir?"
johndear.wav
Harry: "We had the most increadibly romantic time together. I thought we were gonna be together forever. And then...huh...oh boy...huh... about a week later, right out of the blue, she sends me a John Deer letter."
gasmoney.wav
Harry: "According to the map we've only gone about four inches. You know, I don't think we have enough gas money."
bet.wav
Lloyd: "How much you wanna bet?"
Harry: "I don't bet."
Lloyd: "What do you mean you don't bet?"
Harry: "I mean I don't bet. You know that. I don't gamble."
Lloyd: "Pussy."
Harry: "I don't."
Lloyd: "Pussy."
Harry: "I never have..."
Lloyd: "Pussy."
Harry: "...and I never will."
Lloyd: "Yeah right! I'll bet you 20 bucks that I can get you gambling before the end of the day."
Harry: "No Way!"
Lloyd: "I'll give you 3-1 odds."
Harry: "Nope."
Lloyd: "5-1."
Harry: "Nope."
Lloyd: "10-1."
Harry: "You're on."
Both: "(Laugh)"
Lloyd: "I'm gonna get ya."
Harry: "Uh uh."
Lloyd: "Uh huh. I don't know how but I'm gonna get ya."
Harry: "Nuh uh."
Lloyd: "Yah."
Harry: "Nuh uh."
Lloyd: "Oh yah."
Both: "(Laugh)"
Aspen.wav (76K)
Lloyd: So, where you headed?
Mary: Aspen.
Lloyd: Mmm, California... beautiful.
Hug.wav (49K)
Lloyd: Hey, how about a hug?
HateGood-byes.wav (25K)
Lloyd: I hate good-byes.
GoodbyeMyLove.wav (46K)
Lloyd: Goodbye my love!
Lloyd: "You're It!"
Harry: "You're It."
Lloyd: "You're it, Quitzies."
Harry: "Anti-quitzies."
Lloyd: "You're it."
Harry: "Quitzies, no anti-quitzies, no startzies"
Lloyd: "You can't do that!"
Harry: "You can to."
Lloyd: "Can not, stamp it!"
Harry: "Can to, double stamp it, no erasies."
Lloyd: "Can not, triple stamp it, no erasies, touch blue make it true."
Harry: "No no no, you can't triple stamp a double stamp."
Lloyd: "La la la."
Harry: "You can't triple stamp a double stamp Lloyd."
Lloyd: "La la la la."
Harry: "You can't triple stamp a double stamp."
Lloyd: "La la la."
Harry: "Lloyd!"
Lloyd: "La la la."
Harry: "Lloyd!"
annoying.wav
Lloyd: "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? Ainahnahnanh! (You know the sound...)"
mocking.wav
Lloyd and Harry: "(The entire Mockong Bird song up to the point of the rude interuption by the gas man.)"
check.wav
Lloyd: "Check please (Immediately after the gas man dies.)"
84sheepdog.wav
Detective Dale (Felton Perry): "Did you get a make on the vehicle."
Dale's man (Lawrence Kopp): "Ah, yes sir, They're driving an 84... sheepdog."
big_gulps.wav
Lloyd: "Hey guys, whoa, big gulps huh? Alright. Well see ya later."
get_up.wav
Lloyd: "(Hits Harry with a balled up piece of trash) Hey, I was wondering when you were gonna get up."
dumber.wav
Lloyd: "Got room for one more if you still want to go to Aspin."
Harry: "Where did you find that?"
Lloyd: "Some kid back in town, traded the van for it strait up. I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog."
Harry: "You know Lloyd, just when I think you couldn't be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totaly redeem yourself!"
Both: "(Laugh and try to give each other a high five but miss.)"
warm.wav
Harry: "I got... I gotta stop and got to the bathroom"
Lloyd: "Just go man. Oh... that's really warm."
butt.wav
: "(Looking at a couple walking by)"
Harry: "Holy Jesus, look at the butt on that."
Lloyd: "Yeah, he must work out."
samsonite.wav
Lloyd: "Slimmon... Sommen... Simmon... So... Swenson... Swanson? "
Harry: "Maybe on the breifcase. Look on the..."
Lloyd: "Oh yeah! It's right here... Samsonite! I was way off. I knew it started with an "S" though"
hooters.wav
Harry: "Nice set of hooters you have there."
Mary: "I beg your pardon?"
Harry: "The owls, there beautiful."
dumb-annoy.wav
Lloyd ... "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? ANNNNNK!!!"