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South Park Sound Bites

Audio Clips from South Park. ... South Park Sound Bites ... Fast version of "South Park" theme song.

Waste Your Time

South Park Quote
South Park Audio Clips
South Park WAVs
South Park Sound Bites
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South Park Sound Bites

Alabama man

"Alabama Man" commercial.


chef.wav

Chef has a plan for getting himself out of a bind.

clubhouse.wav

Cartman needs carpet for the clubhouse.

bad_kitty.wav

Cartman complains about the cat and his mom's response surprises him.

elvin_mr_hankey.wav

Cartman's baby cousin Elvin says: "Mr. Hankey kicks a--."

Ask mr hat

Mr. Garrison: "I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat?" Kyle: "I don't wanna ask Mr. Hat; I'm asking you!" Mr. Garrison: "Oh, I think you should ask Mr. Hat." Kyle: <pause> "Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?" Mr. Hat: "Well, Kyle ... No! You hear me? You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!" Mr. Garrison: "Hmmm. Guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle." Kyle: "Dammit!" Cartman: "Ha ha! Mr. Hat yelled at you."

Birthday

Cartman singing: "It's my birthday, my b-b-b-birthday!"

Bitch-ass in kitchen

Cartman: "I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be like, 'Hey! You get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen! And make me some pie!' "

Eaten beef

Stan's uncle: "Now that is a man who's eaten a lot of beef!"

Fast theme

Fast version of "South Park" theme song.

Respect

Cartman: "Respect my authori-tie!"

Screw-u

Cartman: "Screw you guys. I'm going home."

Sit down

Bus driver: "Sit down and shut up!"

Smack

Mr. Garrison: "Mr. Hat is gonna smack you bitches up!"

Special day

Mr. Garrison: "Today is a very special day."

Suck my balls1

Mr. Garrison: "You can just suck my balls."

House of pain

Satan: "Prepare to enter thy house of pain!"

Hurry up

Mr. Garrison: "Hey, hurry up in there."

Kick ass

Kyle: "Kick ass, dude!"

Killed kenny

Stan: "Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!" Kyle: "You bastards!"

Kiss my ass

Stan: "Okay, so it's decided. When the clock hits 8:35, we all stand up on our desks, pull down our pants, and yell, 'Kiss my ass!' "

Kitty

Cartman: "Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nut-sack and blow your balls all over your panties!" Stan: "Jesus, Cartman."

Pussies

Cartman: "You guys are all such pussies!"

Raging

Stan: "Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman has!" Kyle: "Hepatitis B?" Cartman: "No, dick-hole. Four tickets, 28th row, for the Raging Pussies!" Kyle: "You got Raging Pussies tickets?" Stan: "We're going tomorrow night!"

Suck my balls 2

Mr. Garrison: "Suck my balls!"

Suck my balls3

Cartman: "Suck my balls!"

Tell me anything

Mr. Mackey: "I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, mkay?"

Time-out

Mr. Garrison: "Do you need to sit in time-out for a few minutes?"

Titties huge

Kyle: "Holy God, dude!" Kenny: "<muffled> Her titties are f***in' huge!"

Chef song

Chef sings a song about how everyone should like everyone else.

Crap

Bus driver: "What the hell is this crap?!"

Crucial time

Jesus: "This is the most crucial and serious time... of all history."

Dominus

Music we hear when Damien gets irate.

Drugs

Mr. Mackey: "Now as I was saying, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. If you do them, you're bad, because drugs are bad, mkay? It's a bad thing to do drugs, so don't be bad by doing drugs, mkay? That'd be bad, because drugs are bad, mkay?"

 


Chef

Chef 01 wav And then these aliens had me up on the ship right, they...



Chef 02 wav What, he's a god damn sucubus.

Chef 03 wav This whole cracker ass town can kiss my ass...

Chef 04 wav Oh, hello there children...Hi Chef, do you know where...

Chef 05 wav Baby, you know you're the girl for me Song.

Chef 06 wav Seen Barbara Streisand...Have you seen her...

Chef 07 wav Well we need help with the debate club...


Chef 08 wav Chef Song...

Chef
01 | "Simultaneously" | 228k
02 | "Not since Yentl" | 16k
03 | "...Cracker town1" | 37k
04 | "...Cracker-ass..." | 56k
05 | Chef's parents story. | 152k
06 | "...damn succubus. | 58k
07 | "Fall in love." | 125k
08 | "From your ass." | 24k
20 | Kathy Lee (MP3) | 830k



Mr Mackay

Mackay 01 wav Alcohol is bad.

Mackay 02 wav Maruanna is bad.

01 | "Alcohol is BAD..."
02 | "MJ is BAD..."
03 | Prank call, "Is this Mr. Garrison?"
04 | "Don't let it happen again."
05 | "UmmKay!"



Timmy

Timmy 01 wav Timmy Song.

Timmy 02 wav Hurry up children and take our seats, you better had...

Timmy 03 wav Timmy, Timmy, Timmy...

Timmy 04 wav Ahhhh.

Timmy 05 wav Shi*...Very good Timmy.

Timmy 06 wav Oh sure, I'll be a bit sick. This is very warm...




Mr. Hanky
01 | "...aweful lot like..." | 36k
02 | "I believe in..." | 61k
19 | Christmas Singing | 61k


Eric Cartman
01 "...my best friends..." 114k
02 "In the Ghetto..." 172k
03 "Anal Probe" 22k
04 "No Kitty" 47k
05 "Screw You Hippy" 9k
06 "Nut Sack" 60k
07 "Speaking of pounding ass" 37k
08 "Respect My Authoritee" 20k
89 "Tree Huggin' Hippy" 20k
10 "Beef Cake #1" 57k
11 "Beef Cake #2" 78k
12 "kyle's Mom a B?tch" 763k
13 "Happy Birthday." 51k
14 "Kitty." 119k
15 "...dialbated..." 34k
16 "Detective Sandy..." 16k
17 "...irritable." 29k
18 "Sandy in it's..." | 22k
19 | "...make me some pie!" | 18k


20 | "...corn beef and cabbage!" | 71k
20 | "...touched weiners." | 406k
21 | "...skinny b*tch!" | 94k
22 | "...screw you guys...going home." | 90k
23 | "...seriously pissed off." | 89k

Eric Cartman

Cartman 01 wav Anal probe. God damn it I didn't have an anal probe...

Cartman 02 wav Beef cake. This is sweet, camera crews are setting...

Cartman 03 wav Best friends Song.

Cartman 04 wav Wild West. We saved the day, wild wild west, wild...

Cartman 05 wav Excuse me but I do believe that stuff...

Cartman 06 wav Talking about rainbows...

Cartman 07 wav I am a cop and you will respect my authority.

Cartman 08 wav Sometimes up-holding the law is messy, but you get...

Cartman 09 wav Cowboy Song.



Mr. Garrison
01 | "Dumbass" | 71k
02 | "Flaming Gas" | 16k
03 | "Green Apple Splatter" | 72k
04 | Facts of life | 51k
05 | "Screw 'em & leave 'em..." | 31k
06 | "...Can't use FAG." | 45k
07 | "I can say the word Fag." | 48k
08 | "...hot poon." | 29k
09 | "...you wanna make out?" | 62k
10 | "Piss off." | 50k
11 | "Sh**ty, sh**ty, bang..." | 86k
12 | "Ask Mr. Hat..." | 55k


Garrison 01 wav Give it a shot officer Barbrady...

Garrison 02 wav Ah that word is getting kind of old, it's not really...

Garrison 03 wav Look it's all about context, for example, I have...

Garrison 04 wav I can't help it, I'm a womanizer sometimes...

Garrison 05 wav You mean you have to be a *** to say that... 

Garrison 06 wav Oh shit, excuse me...hey watch it fag...

Garrison 07 wav On television they usually don't...

Garrison 08 wav And that children is what you need to know about...

Garrison 09 wav Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your...

Garrison 10 wav We need to boycott the entire network...

Garrison 11 wav That's why when it comes to chicks I just screw...

Timmy
01 | Lords of the underworld. | 228k
02 | Timmy's Note | 56k
03 | Old McTimmy | 48k
04 | Timmy Screams | 8k
05 | "...Thanks a lot Tim Tim." | 31k
06 | "Sh*t." | 18k



Towelie
01 | "...how long has it been..." | 52k
02 | "Won't you take me to..." | 141k
03 | "...we gonna get high?" | 16k
04 | "...I have no idea..." | 42k
05 | "Wanna get high?" | 9k
06 | "...worst character ever..." | 44k
07 | "..Your a towel!" | 64k
08 | "..gonna get alitte high." | 30k

Towelie 01 wav You can reach it, come on Towelie...

Towelie 02 wav Are you sure this is where they said to be...

Towelie 03 wav Come on dude...Where are we going...

Towelie 04 wav Come on guys lets go and play field games...

Towelie 05 wav Just let me get high, I know I can remember if...

Towelie 06 wav You wanna get high...No.



Towelie 07 wav Check it out, now we're going into the secret...

Towelie 08 wav Lets see...


Miscellaneous
02 | "The Theme (WAV)"
03 | "Grampa - Lazy ass"
04 | "Oh, My GOD..."
05 | "Super, Thank for asking"
06 | "Dude, that was pretty..."
07 | "...you fat b**ch."
08 | "...some interesting sh*t."
09 | "They took our jobs."
10 | Cartman's Mom, "Hello, boys."
11 | "You've got mail..."
12 | Bus Driver, "...crap!"

 


"Oh, boy! I've never gotten a package this big. I've always wanted to have a huge package." (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
"What the hell are you doing, fatt-ass?" (Kyle Broflovski)
"Dude! How is putting Butters' wiener in your mouth 'getting him'?" –Because that makes Butters gay now! –No, dude, that makes you gay. –Wai--What? –You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid. –Nuh-uh. –Yeah-huh! –Kenny, that doesn't make me gay, huh? –Heh heh. That makes you very fucking gay." (Stan Marsh) | (Eric Cartman) | (Kyle Broflovski) | (Kenny McCormick)
(background) "I am not that god-damned fat!" (Eric Cartman)
(background) "OK, people, time to disperse. Party's over!" (Officer Barbrady)

"It's getting late, boys. Why don't you come on up to bed? –Just let us stay up a little longer, mom. Mr. Hankey's got to show up. He always does! –All right, bubbe. Oh and boys? Happy Chanukah. –Happy Chanukah, Ma." Mona Marshall (Sheila Broflovski) | (Kyle Broflovski)

"All ready for Christmas? –I was just starting to look over the new Naughty And Nice List the gnomes prepared for me. –Oh, heh, are the, uh, tabulations all closed off then? –Oh, no. They keep it open until midnight of Christmas Eve. Some kids actually try to cram in a lot of niceness right at the end. –(cough) Oh, that's so lame of them." (Mr. Hankey) | (Santa Claus) | (Eric Cartman)
(background) "Poor old John McCain. Well he looks real sad." (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
"Sasha and Malia... I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. We will name him 'Sparkles.'" (Barack Obama)
"If there is anyone out there tonight who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our Founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy... tonight is your answer." (Barack Obama)
"Hall Pass! Show me your Hall Pass!" (Eric Cartman)
(background) "This is nuts!" (Kyle Broflovski)
"Oh, suck my balls you ginger, jew-rat Hall Monitor!" (Eric Cartman)
(background) "You've got the best balls in the whole world, Chef! –You're damn right." (Kyle Broflovski) | (Jerome 'Chef' McElroy)
"I am sick and tired of everyone telling me I'm confused! I wasn't confused until other people started telling me I was!" (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
(background) "What's going on, you two? –Nothing, Mom. I'm just a little bi-curious!" Mona Marshall (Linda Stotch) | (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
"If you're not sleepy yet, I have some more of that nighttime cold medicine you can drink." (Eric Cartman)

(background) "Hey. Hey, wait a minute. This ain't a trick, is it?" (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)

"Christmas is about presents! If we all buy presents, everyone benefits, mm-kay? –That is the spirit of Christmas, commercialism, because it's what makes our country work!" (Mr. Mackey) | (Stan Marsh)
(background) "And why is it that on Charlie Brown cartoons everyone talks like this?" (Stan Marsh)
(background) "This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas." (Stan Marsh)
"We got so caught up in the little things of Christmas, like Love and Family, that we almost forgot it's buying things that makes our economy thrive." (Miss Diane Choksondik)
 
(background) "And in other news tonight, it appears that everyone is officially sick of Christmas!" (Tom the News Reporter)
(background) "Oh, that's no problem. We just need a little Christmas magic." (Mr. Hankey)
"Why does Grandma have to live so far away? Why don't we just stick her in a nursing home closer to us so I don't have to drive six hours to get a god-damned present!" (Eric Cartman)
(background) "Cartman was right, the holiday season is for idiots." (Kyle Broflovski)
(background) "Awww. –Christmas is ruined again!" group speaking | (Randy Marsh)
"I think voting is great. I just didn't care this time because it was between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich. –But, Stan, don't you know? It's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd. They're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics." (Stan Marsh) | (PETA member)

(background) "Mmkay, that's one more vote for Turd Sandwich." (Mr. Mackey)

"Oh, god, here we go again. Dork alert!" (Eric Cartman)
(background) "You wanna get high?" (Towelie)
"Well, thanks for offering to let me in your clique, guys. But to be honest, I'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid." (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
(background) "God damn it. Can we please just get back to playing our videogame, please?!" (Eric Cartman)
"Don't forget to bring a towel!" (Towelie)
(background) "Boy, things sure are starting to look Christmassy now. –Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!" (Mr. Hankey) | (Santa Claus)
(background) "This is such a magical Christmas adventure, you guys." (Eric Cartman)
"I can't believe I got a stupid shirt! The holidays are bullcrap!" (Eric Cartman)
"Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now." (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
(background) "Hooray." (Eric Cartman) | (Stan Marsh) (Kyle Broslofski) (Kenny McCormick)
(background) "What're you doing with your wiener out there, Dad?" (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
(background) "OK, that's enough fat-ass jokes for this week." (Eric Cartman)
"Wife got you down? Boss makin' you angry? Kids yellin' at you? Well, Fudge 'Em!" (Jerome 'Chef' McElroy)

(background) "Damn you, Internet!" (Stephen Stotch)

"Everything is back to normal. I-I think… I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again." (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
(background) "I told you guys the holiday season is nothing but lies and bullcrap." (Eric Cartman)
"Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said… this week." (Kyle Broflovski)
"Well, damn it, Eric, don't you have some smart-ass thing to say?" (Herbert Garrison)
(background) "Timmy!" (version 3) (Timmy)
(background) "Timmy!" (version 1) (Timmy)
"You're watching MTV, the cool, brainwashing, 12-year-old-and-younger station that hides behind a slick image. We're so cool that we decide what's cool. And now MTV News. The News that is single-handedly dumbing-down our country, which is cool." uncredited (MTV Announcer)
(background) "It's Ritalin for all of you!" uncredited (Pharmacist)
"Inspector Butters is on the case, ma'am!" (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
(background) "Everyone knows it's Butters! –Well, that's me!" (Leopold 'Butters' Stotch)
(background) "Oh, man, this sucks!" (Eric Cartman)

(background) "Oh, boy, Superbitch is at it again." (Eric Cartman)

(background) "As if we care." (Eric Cartman)
(background) "(fart) Oww! –Hey, he's like Rudolph!" (Eric Cartman) | (Wendy Testaberger)
(background) "Howdy-Ho!" (Mr. Hankey)
(background) "Maybe he went shopping for some leather pants." (Eric Cartman)
(background) "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!" (Eric Cartman)
(background) "Well, spank my ass and call me Charlie." (Herbert Garrison)
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." (Herbert Garrison)
"Cartoons kick ass!" (Eric Cartman)
"Christians and Republicans and Nazis! Oh, my!" (Big Gay Al)
"Stan, you need to lay off the cough syrup, all right? Seriously, I'm worried about you, man." (Eric Cartman)
2_cartmans.wav Good Cartman and Bad Cartman have different opinions about the cat.
10_4_sargeant.wav Cartman: "10-4 Sargeant!"
above_the_law.wav Some character saying "I am above the law!"
ahhhh.wav Just Kyle screaming.
angry_garrison.wav Mr. Garrison: "You won't get away with this you bastards!"
authoritah.wav Cartman: "Respect my authoritah!"
bad_itch.wav Stan faces off with the bus driver.
bad_jimmy.wav Cartman visits his extended family for the holidays, and everyone gets after the dog Jimmy.
best_friends.wav Good Cartman sings a song for his friends.
book_report.wav Cartman's book report is a bit off the mark.
brownies.wav The kids "bake some brownies" on the bus.
but_mom.wav Cartman objects to his mother's wishes.
candymaster.wav Cartman thinks he's the Candymaster, but Stan thinks otherwise.
cat_in_heat.wav Cartman's cat is in heat and is driving him crazy.
cheezy_poofs.wav Cartman wants some Cheezy Poofs.
farting_fire.wav Something is really wrong with Cartman.
fat_abbott.wav The boys are watching a cartoon called "Fat Abbott" (take off of Fat Albert), and it is supposed to be an example of how cartoons are getting really nasty.
fat_a.wav Cartman is using WeightGain 5000, and Kyle tries to get him to understand that he's not gaining the right kind of weight.
flaming_gas.wav An alien anal probe is giving Cartman some trouble, so much so that he sets a kid on fire in class.
grandma_far_away.wav Cartman is upset about having to go visit his grandma.
grandma_grace.wav Cartman's grandma is tired of saying grace.
hi_elvin.wav Cartman greets his baby cousin, who responds, "Sweeet".
huggies.wav Cartman's great-grandma can't see so well, and thinks Kyle is her great-grandson instead.
keep_your_pants_on.wav Cartman: "Alright, keep your pants on."
make_pizza.wav Cartman mouths off at the babysitter, but she doesn't take it.
mostly_come_at_night.wav Cartman is watching the movie "Aliens".
mostly_mad.wav Cartman can't help copping the "mostly" from "Aliens".
mostly_never.wav Cartman plots revenge against his babysitter... using another "mostly".
oh_weak.wav Someone says "Oh, weak". It sounds like Cartman, but I think it is one of his family members.
play.wav Kyle, Stan, and Kenny don't want Cartman to play with them.
poor_people.wav Cartman: "Poor people tend to live in clusters."
pretty_ugly.wav Cartman and his babysitter share a special moment.
rabbits_eat.wav Stan faces off against the bus driver Ms. Crabtree again.
run_around.wav Chef: "He needs to run his a-- around the block a few times."
shut_up.wav Some guy saying "Shut up, b----".
sickdude.wav Kyle: "Sick, dude"
son_of_a.wav Cartman: "Ah, son of a b----!"
starve.wav Mr. Garrison: "I hope you starve, you son of a b----!"
stinky_britches.wav Cartman can't get a popular song out of his head.
stop_the_bus.wav Kyle has a screaming match with the bus driver.
sweet.wav Cartman: "Sweeeet"
sweet_lovin.wav Chef's latest lover isn't quite satisfied.
thats_fine.wav The boys fight amongst themselves with pretty much just one word.
to_jail.wav Cartman the cop uses his authority.
undercover.wav Cartman goes undercover as a prostitute.
whoa_dude.wav Kyle: "Whoa dude"
whoop.wav Chef: "Remind me to whoop yo a-- good next time I see you."
wow_cool.wav Kyle: "Wow, cool!"

dodo.mp3
dodo ....etc

drugs_are_bad.mp3
Drugs are bad...mmmhhkk?

ethiopian.mp3
The boys find an ethiopian,and of course its SWEEEET!

excuse_me.mp3
cartman giving his opinion of IT!

garrison_job.mp3
Mr. Garrison tells the kids he's quitting his job for a new occupation

garrison_stan.mp3
Mr. Garrison talks to Stan about whose been hitting Stan.

gayest.mp3
Gayest dog i have ever seen. (Cartman)

ghetto_song2.mp3
Cartman sings the Second Ghetto song.

got_mail_kick.mp3
Oh my god ..... You've got mail ...kickass!

 

gotmail4.mp3
South Park Got Mail Sound

hateyou_kenny.mp3
Cartman: I hate you, Kenny.

heartache.mp3
hilarious, IF you know THIS song!

hidyho.mp3
My Hankey says "Hidyho!"

jimbo_hunt.mp3
Uncle Jimbo passes out the hunting supplies to the boys.

back_to_endor.mp3
Why don't you go back to Endor you stupid Wookiee. Wookies don't live on Endor. (Cartman Jibberish) - Cartman and Stan

beefck.mp3
THE classic Beefcake

best_friends.mp3
Cartman sings: you guys are my best friends.

birthday_song.mp3
Cartman sings his Birthday song

bitch_song.mp3
The "Kyle's mom is a big fat bitch" song

busdriver.mp3
Kyle calls the busdriver a "fat bitch" .. or does he?

cart_kitty.mp3
Cartman GOES OFF about Kitty! This one made me cringe!

cartman_flys.mp3
Cartman being bothered with flys

cartman_ghetto_vid.ra
cartman sining in the ghetto (with video).

cartman_make_fun.mp3
Cartman making fun of Kenny's family

killedkenny.mp3
Kyle saying the usual: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

kyle_sewer.mp3
southpark, kyle and cartman in the sewer

lesbians.mp3
the boys trying to be lesbians!

livingproof.mp3
Cartman: Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof. Beefcake, BEEFFFCAAAAKKKKE!!!

lost_boy.mp3
Cartman says:iam a lost little boy can you help well screwy you too.

meow.mp3
Cartman's Missu-kitty "Meow"

cartman_singing.mp3
Cartman singing ? something

cartman_smell.mp3
Cartman commenting on the smell of the sewer to stan

cartman_sweet.mp3
Cartman: "Aah, that sounds pretty sweet to me."

cartman_weight.mp3
southpark cartman in class about his weight

cartman_wwwest.mp3
Cartman raps Wild Wild West theme

cartmen_pissed.mp3
Cartmen being pissed

cheesy_poofs.mp3
Cartman says: cheesy-poofs

crank.mp3
From the Southpark Movie... the Saadaam character: "...you know exactly how to turn my crank!!"

dad_erection.mp3
I need to get an erection for my Dad!

Everybody hates me

Damien: "Everybody hates me."

Explaining

Ms. Choksondik: "Well, well, well. I'd say somebody has some explaining to do."

Cartman: "You're damned right they do!"

Farted

Sfx: Fart.

Philip: "Aw, Terrance! You farted in court!"

Terrance: "Yes, Philip. I'm making a case for our defense!"

Both: "Ah ha ha ha ha!"


Officer Barbrady

Barbrady 01 wav Carry on...

Barbrady 02 wav Welcome to the magical world of Brady...

Barbrady 03 wav Ha ha cows, I got you cornered, lets see you get...

Barbrady 04 wav Yes, what is it...I need to go poopie.

Barbrady 05 wav What seems to be the problemo here...

Barbrady 06 wav Boys shouldn't you be in school...

1 "Carry On" 52k
"Fruit Cake" 45k
"I Like To Singa" 65k
"I Need to go Poopy" 24k
"...Problemo?" 28k
"You little trouble makers" 17k
"Give us the book fruitcake!" 45k